The most common underlying issue I see in couples coming for counseling is an inability to communicate well. The couple tells me they have fun together and can talk with each other UNTIL the topic is a heated one. Then it feels like they aren't being heard which makes a person feel confused, frustrated, disrespected and even dismissed. This can start a revolving cycle of painful arguments in which things are said that can never be taken back.
It doesn't have to be this way! With good counseling, you can learn to really hear what your loved one is saying, not just the words but the why behind the words. Why is he so passionate (interpreted as "stubborn") about this? Why does she shut down when we try to solve a problem? There are legitimate answers to these questions that, with some help, you can discover, and that "aha" moment can transform everything! Suddenly you get it! I've seen women cry with relief that he finally understands why she keeps bringing up this or that topic. Together we can find solutions that meet the needs of both people.
Communication is key, and so is respect. Hopefully you're with someone who does sometimes challenge your thinking. If that's done respectfully, you both gain knowledge and understanding and your relationship can deepen. Without respect couples begin aggressive arguments that result in wounds that seem to never heal. With a good counselor in the room, you can learn to appreciate one another and speak respectfully to resolve issues. That old song about "Words can never harm me" simply is wrong! Words pierce the heart and cause us to back away from those who put them there.
Don't throw away what you've worked so hard to build unless you've at least tried good counseling. Then if it doesn't work, you walk away knowing you've tried your best. Otherwise, you'll drag that pain right into the next relationship, expecting more of the same. Heal where you are if at all possible. Leave if you've tried everything you can and it just doesn't work.
With online couples' counseling, I will want to work with you through video chat when both of you are in the room. As a long time counselor, I want to be able to see the non-verbal communication as well as hearing what you say. I look forward to working with you soon!
- Stress, Anxiety
- Relationship issues
- Family conflicts
- Self esteem
Trauma and abuse , Grief , Intimacy-related issues , Parenting issues , Anger management , Career difficulties Read more...
LMHC #MH3357 (Expires: 2021-03-01)
Connie has the ability to figure out exactly what our issues are and helps us to understand the origin.
I've only had Connie for one session but it has been a really insightful experience so far. She was very respectful with my personal boundaries and knew not to push for more, which I really appreciate. I look forward to future sessions with her and would highly recommend Connie!
I have experienced some of the hardest times over the past year and she has always been there for me. I highly recommend her
We are so glad that we were matched with Connie. She really takes the time to understand our concerns and gives suggestions that really work well for us.