Can My Marriage Survive If I Have A Bisexual Husband?
Updated March 16, 2020
Reviewer Laura Angers
Ensuring that your marriage is strong enough to stand the test of time is important. Every married couple is going to encounter difficult situations over the years. If you have recently discovered that your husband is bisexual, then this might make you feel quite uneasy. Many women who find out that their husbands are also attracted to men may feel threatened by it. Is your husband going to leave you for a man? Does he like men more than he likes women? You might be driving yourself crazy due to the doubts and worries that are circulating in your mind.
It's important to take a step back and breathe. This is a very difficult situation that could have an impact on your marriage. It could also be something that won't hurt your marriage in any way. If you've found yourself asking whether your marriage can survive, then you're obviously worried. Don't jump to conclusions just yet. Take the time to examine the possibilities while also considering what you should do about your husband's newly realized sexual preferences.
You Need To Talk
The first thing that you need to do when you discover that your husband is bisexual is to talk about it. If you beat around the bush or try to avoid the subject, then that is only going to make things worse. Your husband shouldn't be made to feel bad or unusual because he has come out as a bisexual man. His sexual orientation is a part of his identity and as his partner, you should approach this with loving curiosity. This could present problems for you and it might make you feel strange, but it's still crucial that you approach the topic with respect and love.
Ask your husband how long he has known that he has been bisexual. There is a chance that he knew he was bisexual all along. It's also possible that these feelings have only recently surfaced even if he had some indication that he was attracted to other men in the past. You might feel like your husband lied to you if he never told you about his sexual preferences before. This might make you feel hurt and you can express your feelings to your husband during this conversation.
Try to be open and honest with one another while you chat. If you can keep an open and accepting mind, then that is going to be better for the future of your relationship. You don't have to suddenly become comfortable with the idea of your husband sleeping with other men, though. All you need to do is acknowledge that he is bisexual. You can talk about what this means for your relationship and whether or not your husband is still committed to being loyal to you.
Your Husband Being Bisexual Doesn't Mean That He Will Cheat
Remember that having a bisexual husband doesn't necessarily mean that he is going to cheat on you with other men. Someone being bisexual doesn't suddenly make them promiscuous and sneaky. Your husband might simply need to acknowledge that he is a member of the LGBTQ community and he might want you to accept that part of him. Having to keep his bisexual nature a secret from you wouldn't be healthy for your marriage. If he had been keeping it secret all this time, then he probably just finally felt like he had to tell you.
Most women who discover this about their husbands feel worried and they might have a hard time understanding it. This is especially true if you don't have many friends or family members who are members of the LGBTQ community. If your husband came out to you openly and honestly, then you should try to respect that as much as you can. He's still the man that you love and it doesn't have to negatively impact your relationship. If he is committed to you and loves you with all of his heart, then everything is going to be just fine.
Open Marriages Work For Some Couples
Some women might be open to the idea of allowing their husbands to explore sexually. Many people are open enough sexually to consider these ideas without feeling like it will harm their marriages. You might have heard of the concept of open marriages or open relationships in the past. This allows people to seek out lovers outside of their main relationship. Having sex with other partners wouldn't be considered cheating. For some people, this is an ideal alternative to the more common monogamous marriages.
Of course, some people are simply not going to be able to entertain the idea of having an open marriage. People can be jealous and the idea of your husband sleeping with others is very scary. Also, there might be some health concerns and you'd need to ensure that everyone was being as safe as possible. Your husband might not like the idea of you seeking out other lovers either. This can be a difficult can of worms to open, but many find that an open marriage makes them happier in the end. It's a terrible idea for some married couples and it's a perfect fit for others.
Remember that there is a social stigma when it comes to open marriages and open relationships as well. You should concern yourself too much with the opinions of other people, but some do value their reputations in the community. It's also true that your faith might prohibit you from entertaining the open marriage idea. This could simply be a good way for your husband to explore his sexuality without having to lose you. Not every bisexual man is going to need to go have sex with other men, though.
Can Your Marriage Survive?
Now that you know more about this situation it's time to address the big question. Can your marriage survive if you have a bisexual husband? Yes, it definitely can. It all comes down to how good you are at communicating with your husband and how committed he is to you. If he isn't as committed to being with you as he initially thought, then he might not want to stay. This question is just as much about how strong your relationship and bond is as it is about his bisexuality.
Some marriages will wind up dissolving due to a revelation like this. There are men who find out that they're more interested in being with other men than women. You can't just worry about things or assume that things are going to go sideways. You have to sit down with your husband and work things out. Determining how you're going to move forward might feel intimidating at first, but many couples have been able to achieve lasting and satisfying marriages even when one of them discovers that they are bisexual.
Don't let the love that you share with your husband be damaged after learning about his bisexual nature. If he has been loyal to you, then there is no reason to overreact to this. Work on your relationship and don't be afraid to reach out for help if you're in need. Your marriage can survive if you both want it to. All you have to do is be committed to each other.
Going To Couples Counseling Is Recommended
Going to couples counseling online is going to be a good idea when you're having problems like this. Your husband's sexuality doesn't change the fact that you love him very much. He might not be thinking of cheating on you with a man, but it's still a difficult situation to navigate. Your husband might feel very confused by his own feelings and he could use guidance. The online relationship counselors can work with him to help him get through this. They can help him to learn about himself while also working on fixing any worries that you have about your marriage.