What Should You Do If Wondering, "Is My Boyfriend Cheating?"
Key takeaways
- Suspicions of cheating may stem from insecurities or changes in your boyfriend’s behavior or appearance.
- It could be crucial to talk to your boyfriend about the situation rather than jumping to conclusions.
- Whether or not your boyfriend is cheating, online relationship counseling could help foster trust and address any underlying mental health concerns.
If you notice these signs, you might consider having a conversation with your partner. Also, it may help to speak with a counselor, either individually or as a couple.
Why might you be worried that your boyfriend is cheating?
One possible reason that you worry that your boyfriend is cheating could be that you feel insecure in the relationship. It’s possible that low self-esteem or challenges related to attachment cause you to worry unnecessarily about abandonment or cheating. On the other hand, you might worry because you’re picking up on signs that he is actually cheating.
What are some possible signs of cheating?
There are a number of different signs that may indicate your boyfriend is cheating. These can include changes in:
- Behavior
- Appearance
- Relationship dynamics
However, just because you notice some of these signs, it doesn’t mean that your boyfriend is definitely cheating.
Changes in behavior
Sometimes the first sign of a boyfriend cheating can be changes in your boyfriend’s behavior. An obvious sign is typically increased secrecy, including about his schedule, location, and phone habits. He might also spend a lot of time with another person that he says is “just a friend.”
Changes in physical appearance that may indicate your boyfriend is cheating
One of the subtle signs of cheating can be changes in physical appearance. If your boyfriend gets new clothes or a new hairstyle and makes an effort to look good before leaving the house, this could be another sign of cheating.
Changes in relationship dynamics
Changes in relationship dynamics are also among the warning signs of cheating. If your boyfriend expresses increased criticism of you or if you find that there is a new emotional distance between the two of you, it could mean cheating. Another possible sign is lost interest in maintaining your sex life together.
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How can cheating affect your mental health?
Having a partner cheat can affect your mental health in a number of ways. It can erode your trust in others and diminish your self-worth. You might experience a diverse array of feelings, such as:
- Rage
- Grief
- Anger
- Shock
- Denial
- Frustration
In some cases, infidelity can also cause anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
What should you do if you’re wondering, “Is my boyfriend cheating?”
If you are wondering if your boyfriend is cheating, you might consider taking steps to take care of your mental health, such as surrounding yourself with your support system and maintaining your boundaries. At some point, you may also have to have a conversation with your boyfriend to see if your fears are founded.
Talking to your boyfriend if you notice signs of cheating
Before you accuse your boyfriend of being unfaithful, you might want to be sure that you have some evidence prepared, even if it’s not concrete evidence. Just because you’ve noticed some of the common signs of cheating, it’s not a foregone conclusion that cheating is what has caused the changes. You can always tell him that you feel uncomfortable with some of the changes that you’ve seen and ask him if anything has happened to bring them about.
Is it helpful to attend couples therapy for cheating behavior?
After infidelity in a relationship, therapy can be an important part of healing, both for couples and individuals.
Couples therapy to improve relationships and mental health
If you’ve discovered cheating, it may be helpful for you and your boyfriend to attend couples therapy together. A couples therapist may be able to help you understand what was behind the betrayal by the cheating partner. Therapy may also help you rebuild trust and find ways to move forward and enjoy a healthy relationship. However, a cheating boyfriend typically needs to be invested in the future of the relationship and the therapeutic process for it to be successful.
Individual therapy if you’re wondering, “Is my boyfriend cheating?”
Whether or not you decide to go to couples therapy, seeking professional support as an individual can also be helpful for dealing with the effects of infidelity and improving your mental health. Individual therapy may also help you decide whether you want to stay in the relationship, and, if so, how to proceed.
Find the right therapist for your relationship.
Would you like to begin therapy as a couple?
Online therapy after infidelity
If you feel hesitant to attend traditional in-person therapy to discuss infidelity, you might consider online therapy. Online couples therapy has been proven to be just as effective as in-person therapy. Online therapy is also a convenient way to get support. It allows you flexibility with scheduling, eliminates travel time, and lets you attend therapy sessions from the safety and comfort of your own home.
Takeaway
If you think that your boyfriend might be cheating on you, it could be that you’ve picked up some subtle or even obvious signs. Signs that your boyfriend might be cheating include changes in his behavior, changes in his appearance, and changes in the dynamics of your relationship. Getting cheated on can feel devastating and can have numerous effects on your mental health. If you suspect cheating, you might consider how and when to talk to your boyfriend about it. It may also help to speak with a counselor about your situation. Couples therapy can support the two of you in moving past the betrayal, and individual therapy can support your own mental health and well-being.
How can I test if my boyfriend is cheating?
In general, “testing” your partner in a relationship is not healthy. Instead, try having an honest conversation about your concerns. When you communicate openly about the aspects of your partner’s behavior that seem strange to you, their response may help you better understand the situation.
How does a man act when he's cheating?
While not everyone who cheats behaves in the same way, the following behaviors may be red flags:
- Unexplained expenses and increased time away from home
- Drastic changes in appearance and/or behavior
- Having more sex or less sex than usual
- Defensive behavior or behaving as if they feel guilty
- Mood swings
- Increased secrecy around their phone or computer
Why do I keep thinking my boyfriend is cheating?
There are multiple reasons why you may suspect your significant other is cheating. Perhaps you have a gut instinct that something isn’t right, or maybe your girlfriend or boyfriend suddenly changed their appearance or behavior. Alternatively, challenges like low self-esteem, negative beliefs, or past experiences with cheating could lead you to become suspicious, even if your partner is faithful.
What is silent cheating?
Silent cheating, also known as micro-cheating, generally refers to small behaviors that cross boundaries but don’t necessarily qualify as infidelity. For example, liking a crush’s posts on social media or secretly staying in contact with an ex could be viewed as silent cheating.
Why do I have a gut feeling he's cheating?
You may have a gut feeling your partner is cheating due to a red flag like secrecy around their phone, even if you don’t have enough evidence to state with certainty that they have been unfaithful. In some cases, seeking professional help can provide you and your partner with a safe space to discuss any concerns or relationship challenges.
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