Tips For Dating After Experiencing Emotional Trauma

The effects that emotional damage can have may cause an individual to be unavailable to relationships, careers, and even themselves. This may lead them to question how they can enjoy a healthy dating experience. If this sounds familiar, we would like to take a moment and encourage you. In many cases, with the right tools and support, your emotional pain can be overcome — allowing you to navigate relationships with confidence and success. 

Below, we’re exploring signs of emotional distress that you can use to acknowledge and validate your previous experiences. We’ll also be exploring different tips to help you to get the most out of your dating experience.

Identifying signs of emotional distress

Emotional trauma may cause an individual to become more emotionally fragile or use unhealthy coping mechanisms, which may not be a healthy solution to resolve the manifestations from trauma. Validating your experience is often the first step to a healthier lifestyle. 

Some signs to look out for can include: 

• Difficulties trusting others and yourself
• Being judgmental of yourself
• Extreme feelings of emotional or physical fatigue
• Ongoing reassurance-seeking
• Excessive urges to stay busy as much as possible
• Eating or sleeping too much
• Withdrawal from social situations
• Feelings of hopelessness 

If you notice these signs in yourself or a loved one and find it affects multiple aspects of your life or your relationships, you may be experiencing emotional distress. However, with the right support and guidance, you may learn effective ways to cope and overcome the emotional pain you may be experiencing.

Dating with emotional distress or trauma: Tips and support 

Emotional trauma may make dating or relationships seem overwhelming. However, with time, effort, and the right tools, it can be possible to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship again. Here are some tips that may be able to help you begin dating confidently again after experiencing emotional trauma.

Trust and timing 

If you want to begin dating again after experiencing emotional trauma, it may be helpful to take it slow and establish trust with a new potential partner before beginning a new relationship. 

Expectations 

When beginning a new relationship, it may be beneficial to discuss expectations of the relationship with each other. You might choose to cover topics such as what you expect from the relationship and them as a partner, and they might do the same. 

Boundaries 

While setting expectations can be important in dating and relationships, setting boundaries may be equally important. Boundaries are generally defined as the limits we set with others — in this case, a potential partner. They can dictate what we will and will not accept within a relationship — emotionally, physically and mentally. 

Setting boundaries may help us feel respected, safe and valued in a relationship. It may be beneficial to set boundaries early on, be consistent with them, and understand it is perfectly okay to say no to things that make you feel uncomfortable.

Open and honest communication

Healthy communication can be important in any relationship, especially romantic or intimate ones. Having an open and honest line of communication can empower you to set these boundaries and expectations, and understand what you need from each other to have a healthy and stable relationship.

When going through a particularly difficult time in your life, it can be helpful to find healthy ways to overcome the emotional trauma you may have experienced. 

Heal from a difficult breakup: Support is available

Here are some other ways that may help you move past the emotional pain so you can improve your mental health and overall well-being.

Focusing on yourself

Self-care can be an important part of recovering from an emotional break or distress. It may be helpful to reconnect with yourself by doing little things you enjoy or that your body needs. For example: You might try to create and stick to a workout schedule, or you might do things that you enjoy and make you feel good. Consider focusing on improving yourself and the way you treat yourself. Practicing self-love in healthy ways generally builds confidence and self-esteem.

Talking it over 

It may be helpful to talk about your trauma. You may want to talk to a trusted friend, family or mental health professional. This may help you gain a new perspective on things. Alternatively, you can even choose to journal to express your feelings. This may help you reflect on your thoughts and feelings.

Realizing that you're not in this alone 

An individual experiencing emotional distress may feel disconnected from others. It may seem as if they're going through it all alone. Although it's common to feel this way, it can be helpful to realize that there are people you can turn to for support that may understand what you're experiencing. Support groups might be a great resource to turn to that may allow you to meet like-minded individuals experiencing similar issues.

Practicing mindfulness 

It may often feel difficult to avoid the negative thoughts and feelings associated with what may have happened in the past. Practicing mindfulness can be a great way to connect you with the present and change negative thought patterns. Meditation, breathwork, yoga, journaling or being in nature are just some of the effective ways you can practice mindfulness in your daily life.

Avoiding alcohol and substance use 

For some individuals, turning to alcohol or using other substances may be their way of coping with emotional distress or trauma. However, this is usually only a temporary fix and may keep individuals from dealing with their trauma which can make things worse. It may be helpful to avoid drugs or alcohol when you're going through a difficult time in your life and find a healthier alternative to help you cope.

How can online therapy support those attempting to date after trauma?

Dating can be exciting, new and entirely overwhelming — especially if you find yourself fairly deep in the self-love and healing process. Because of this, you may not feel equipped or inclined to seek in-person therapeutic support, as the effort may take up a portion of your emotional, physical and logistical resources. 

Online therapy can be a more effective and accessible alternative to most who may not find themselves in a place to seek in-person support. You can message your online therapist at any time through your smart device and Regain app. 

Is online therapy effective for those who have survived trauma? 

If you have recently survived a traumatic experience, you may only want to put your resources into an effective, supportive solution for your needs. Online therapy has been scientifically suggested to have comparably effective results when evaluated against in-person supportive services. The National Center for Health Research cited a meta-analysis of over 40 studies indicating that the success was spread across a variety of diagnoses and subsequent traumatic manifestations, such as depression, anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder (among others). 

Takeaway

You are generally capable of having happiness within a relationship of any type after experiencing trauma. To have a more enjoyable experience, you may consider validating your emotions and personal experiences prior to entering a romantic relationship. Self-care, communication, journaling and online therapy can all be helpful supportive strategies to aid you in the healing process. Regain can connect you with a licensed therapist in your area of need.