Is It Possible For Someone With APD To Change?
When you are in a relationship with someone with antisocial personality disorder, the symptoms of their mental health condition can significantly affect your life and emotions. Read on to explore whether sociopaths can change their behavior patterns and what it takes to make meaningful changes to their lifestyle and personality successfully.
What is sociopathy?
A sociopath is a person living with antisocial personality disorder. People with this disorder may behave drastically differently from expected cultural and societal norms, showing a blatant disregard and indifference for the opinions, feelings, and rights of others. Sociopaths generally have a skewed sense of right and wrong, often acting purely to benefit themselves to the detriment of others.
“To be classified as a personality disorder, one's way of thinking, feeling and behaving deviates from the expectations of the culture, causes distress or problems functioning, and lasts over time.” — American Psychiatric Association
Antisocial personality disorder (APD)
People with APD often have trouble adjusting to the world's expectations, believing wholeheartedly that their desires and needs should come first. This attitude often leads to frequent trouble with the law. Someone with APD may intentionally anger or manipulate others for their own pleasure or enjoyment and show no remorse or regret if their actions hurt someone else. People who know someone with APD may describe them as selfish, manipulative, without conscience, unfeeling, or hateful.
APD signs and symptoms
Watch out for these signs and symptoms:
- They may have a weak conscience—their sense of right and wrong—and easily find ways to justify their bad behavior.
- Showing a total disregard for cultural and societal norms of expected behavior
- Frequently acting without concern for others’ health, well-being, and personal safety
- They may often lie or manipulate others to take advantage of them or get their way.
- Demonstrates a decreased or even entirely absent sense of remorse or guilt about harming others.
- They may be insensitive or openly disrespectful of anyone else’s ideas or emotions and lack empathy.
- Considering themselves superior to nearly everyone, seeing very few people as equals
- Willing to use other people for personal gain or enjoyment.
- Frequent legal trouble due to disregarding the validity of the law when it proves inconvenient
- They often make excuses for their behavior or blame their actions and unfavorable outcomes on others.
- Prone to a quick temper, hostility, aggressiveness, violence, and threats
- They likely have trouble maintaining steady employment because they can’t get along with people.
What do sociopathic behaviors look like?
Behavior patterns for people with APD can look different for everyone, but through years of research, mental health industry experts have compiled several behavioral traits often seen in sociopaths.
Challenges maintaining relationships
Many sociopaths find maintaining healthy relationships an insurmountable challenge. With the inclination toward lying, manipulation, and self-serving, impulsive behavior, many people with APD do not treat their partners well and find that managing behavioral symptoms takes consistent work. Some sociopaths find the additional emotional and behavioral work is not worth the effort, so they return to their previous behaviors.
Manipulation and lack of guilt
Sociopaths often believe that their methods and ideas are the best and have no problems lying and manipulating people to get what they want. Whether for personal gain or merely enjoyment, people with APD often show a lack of guilt or remorse when they hurt someone. Lacking empathy makes it difficult for them to understand how their actions affect other people. While sociopaths do not typically experience feelings like guilt, remorse, or moral obligations, they can often mimic emotions effectively enough to fool others when it suits their needs.
Trouble with the law
People with APD typically consider themselves above the law, as if petty rules don’t apply to them, and they act accordingly. However, law enforcement generally takes a dim view of this outlook, and many sociopaths have frequent trouble with the law. They often have a weak or absent sense of right and wrong, so they don't apply the same moral value to words and actions that others might. For example, sociopaths often steal things that catch their interest simply because they want them and can do it.
Many sociopaths are resistant to the idea of treatment and may only attend psychotherapy treatments when court-ordered to do so. If you seek ways to support a sociopathic loved one in the criminal justice system, consider getting them into a therapy program to help develop healthy ways to cope with their symptoms.
“People with antisocial personality disorder often violate the law, becoming criminals. They may lie, behave violently or impulsively, and have problems with drug and alcohol use. They have difficulty consistently meeting responsibilities related to family, work, or school.” — The Mayo Clinic
Selfish and self-centered
A sociopath usually considers themselves the most important person in the room—no matter who is there. They may see themselves as superior to nearly everyone else and consider few their equals, so they generally have no moral hangups about using people and lying to get what they want.
Impulsive and erratic
Many sociopaths demonstrate impulsive, erratic behavior, often acting without considering the consequences of their actions and how they may affect their and others' health and safety.
Studies show that many people living with APD also experience substance use disorders, which can lead to amplified aggression, impulsivity, and psychopathic traits.
Treatments for APD
Common treatments done for APD include:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
- Professional counseling for impulsivity
- Democratic therapeutic community (DTC)
- Medications like mood stabilizers, antidepressants, or antipsychotics
- Mentalization-based therapy (MBT)
“In the past, antisocial personality disorder was thought to be a lifelong disorder, but that's not always the case, and it can sometimes be managed and treated. Evidence suggests behavior can improve over time with therapy, even if core characteristics such as lack of empathy remain.” — National Health Service
Can a person with APD change?
While antisocial personality disorder is one of the more complex and disruptive personality disorders to live with, research shows that many sociopaths can change their behavior—provided that they genuinely want to change.
Confront them about problematic behaviors
If your partner exhibits sociopathic traits but hasn’t been diagnosed with the disorder, try making a list of behaviors you believe are symptoms and confronting them with the information. Help them find a therapist they trust and can talk to and support them through psychotherapy's emotional ups and downs. Have patience and remember that making meaningful changes to one’s personality is not a fast or easy process.
Once a diagnosis has been made, work with the therapist to develop an array of coping skills to manage difficult situations, discuss acceptable behaviors for different circumstances, and develop practical emotional intelligence, awareness, and literacy to recognize, understand, and express feelings and needs.
Accept that it may not work
Unfortunately, many people with APD are resistant to treatment. That doesn’t mean there’s no hope, though. Reshaping thought and behavior patterns takes time. Perhaps the therapist wasn’t a good fit, or it wasn’t the right therapeutic approach. Continue trying to help and support your partner, but remember to set healthy boundaries and prioritize your self-care.
Coping skills for people who love a person with APD
Learn these skills if you or someone you know loves a person with APD:
- Practice regular self-care to ensure you don’t develop problems due to their behaviors.
- Understand that they may lie and manipulate effortlessly.
- Set and maintain healthy boundaries.
- Speak with a qualified therapist to seek the support and guidance of a mental health professional.
- Don’t isolate yourself from family and friends. You may need that support system.
- Check in with yourself regularly to recognize when the relationship is doing more harm than good.
- Prioritize your own mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
How therapy can help manage antisocial personality disorder
If you love someone with antisocial personality disorder, consider working with a licensed therapist online through a relationship-focused virtual therapy platform like Regain, where mental health experts can help you examine your loved one’s behavior and determine the boundaries of their condition and its effects. Depending on your situation, you may want individual, couple, or family therapy.
Researchers at the American Psychological Association found that online and in-person therapy both offer similar results. Online therapy provides a much more comprehensive selection of available therapists. Particularly with APD, a strong, trusting patient/therapist is a vital part of the process. Many patients said the physical separation from their therapist made sharing personal information more comfortable, and the convenience of attending from home allowed them to participate more reliably—both of which can increase the effectiveness of treatment.
Takeaway
Personality disorders can drastically alter how someone thinks, acts, and feels, leading to characteristics and behavior patterns considered far outside the standard. The information in this article offers insight into the available treatments to help someone with APD change their thinking and behavior patterns.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What is a sociopathic person like?
When it comes to identifying a functioning sociopath, there are a couple of methods. The first is a diagnosis of someone with an antisocial personality disorder AKA a sociopath. To attain this diagnosis, a person must show sociopathic tendencies and be observed and diagnosed by a professional. All of the criteria for diagnosing antisocial personality disorder are found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5). This serves as the general sociopath definition.
According to DSM-5, the elements for the diagnosis of a person with antisocial personality disorder, or the diagnosis of a high-functioning sociopath are:
- Disregard for and violation of others rights since age 15, as indicated by one of the seven sub features:
- Failure to obey laws and norms by engaging in behavior which results in a criminal arrest, or would warrant criminal arrest
- Lying, deception, and manipulation, for profit or self-amusement,
- Impulsive behavior
- Irritability and aggression, manifested as frequently assaults others, or engages in fighting
- Blatantly disregards safety of self and others,
- A pattern of irresponsibility and
- Lack of remorse for actions (American Psychiatric Association, 2013)
The other diagnostic Criterion are:
- The person is at least age 18
- Conduct disorder was present by history before age 15
- and the antisocial behavior does not occur in the context of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (American Psychiatric Association, 2013)
So, based on these aspects for diagnosis, you can see that a sociopath is an adult who exhibits behaviors that benefit themselves while also disregarding others. It manifests in different destructive patterns of behavior that start in adolescence and continue into adulthood. All of these must be taken together, and the presence of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder has to be ruled out.
The distinction of a ‘high-functioning sociopath’ is given to those who are especially adept at manipulating and involving those around them. A high functioning sociopath knows how to get what they want, often to the detriment of those around them.
There is also the sociopath test, which helps to spot a sociopath based on self-reported answers. Because the standard sociopath test is short and relies directly on the answers from the patient for the results, it’s important to have the patient spend time with a trained psychologist or psychiatrist so that their behavior patterns can be observed over time.
What are the 7 symptoms of a sociopath?
According to the work and research of H. Cleckley and R. Hare, there are seven key signs of a sociopath and a psychopath that can help you to identify functioning psychopaths or sociopaths. Most sociopaths tend to show several of these traits throughout their lifetime. These sociopathic traits and symptoms have been described in a way that target the specific expressed thoughts and beliefs of the patient, as well as their behavior towards others. The sociopath test can give some clarity, and many of the diagnoses have these seven traits in common. Let’s have a look at the top seven characteristics that have come to define the traits of a high-functioning sociopath.
- Glibness: This means a high level of superficial charm that draws people in and makes them willing and open to suggestion from the high functioning sociopath because the sociopaths are so charming. It is usually combined with a high level of intelligence.
- Manipulative and Cunning: The high functioning sociopath doesn’t recognize other people’s rights and see their own behavior as justified; other people are seen as only a means to an end.
- Grandiose Sense of Self: They feel they have the right to do whatever they please, and they constantly hold themselves as superior to others.
- Pathological Lying: High-functioning sociopaths often lie, or say whatever they need to, in order to get their way and manipulate those around them.
- No remorse, shame, or guilt: This usually comes from a repressed rage; in place of true friends, high functioning sociopaths have victims and accomplices, and these accomplices usually end up as victims as well.
- Lack of empathy: They aren’t able to empathize or sympathize with others, so they continue to hurt others without any regard for anyone’s wellbeing other than their own.
- Need for stimulation: They often seek thrills; this can be in the form of fighting, promiscuity, binge eating, gambling, or other adrenaline-inducing activities. They may also spend a lot of time getting drunk or high.
While these seven symptoms are certainly the most common ways in which you could identify the traits of psychopaths and sociopaths, they’re certainly not the only indicators. There are other tendencies that also pop up frequently which also indicate people may be psychopaths and sociopaths. These include:
- Contemptuousness: intolerance and scorn towards the people and society around them
- High functioning sociopaths often refuse to admit anything is wrong with them.
- Authoritarian, secretive, and paranoid
- They try to find contexts and relationships where their antics will be tolerated.
- Their ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim; they want to control every aspect of this victim’s life
- They tend to be incapable of love or any real meaningful human attachment.
- They also often lack the ability to feel remorse or guilt, though they might try to mimic these actions in order to manipulate their victim.
- Narcissism and a grandiose sense of self; many high functioning sociopaths express a desire to take over or rule the world.
- In general sociopaths are rule breakers, and they act like the rules don’t apply to them.
These characteristics may take different forms, and when differentiating a male sociopath from a female with the same diagnosis, their patterns of behavior may be different.
What is the difference between a psychopath and sociopath?
While both psychopathic and sociopathic behavior fall within the purview of antisocial personality disorder, there are a few differences between a psychopath and a sociopath. Most notably, a psychopath will usually be more calculated and careful when it comes to assessing risks. Psychopaths are often seen as more manipulative and more charming. Their lives might seem closer to “normal,” and they often don’t take as many risks when it comes to criminal activities. On the other hand, a high functioning sociopath will probably be more prone to outbursts of anger and more willing to take risks when it comes to committing crime.
However, since both of these diagnoses fall under the same disorder (antisocial personality disorder) the differences between a functioning sociopath and a psychopath are usually minor. It is usually just differences in the symptoms and the severity of the symptoms that differentiate between sociopath and psychopath. It is for this reason that the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath, especially in terms of professional diagnosis, is a lot smaller than you might have previously thought.
What is a sociopath’s weakness?
The biggest weakness of a true sociopath is their own ego. This ego and assumption that they are better than everyone else often results in their abandonment and undoing. In criminal cases involving sociopaths, their ego and their belief that they’ll never be caught or convicted is exactly what ends up landing them in prison. So, the biggest weakness of a high functioning sociopath is their own grandiose and exaggerated view of themselves. Of all the traits of a high-functioning sociopath, their ego is their biggest weakness.
Who is a famous sociopath?
While over arching stereotypes of sociopaths serve as representatives for many tropes, there are some real people in the public eye who have been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. Many of them are famous for the crimes they have committed, such as Ted Bundy or Jeffery Dahmer. This should not come as a surprise, as psychopaths and sociopaths often break the law, and are generally relatively reckless individuals. Others, like Bernie Madoff and Michael Milken, used their cunning and glibness to steal millions of dollars from victims. According to Dr. Stephen Salzbrenner, sociopaths are successful at making others feel like they’ve known them for years. It was this sociopathic tendency that allowed people to exploit their friends and family and make large fortunes as part of their Ponzi schemes. Since each of these people were high-functioning sociopaths, it is no surprise that they turned to crime to support their own fantasies and lavish lifestyles.
What is a functioning sociopath?
A functioning sociopath is a person who can display a high level of what many might perceive to be human emotion. This means that a high functioning sociopath can often imitate the indicators of human emotion, such as facial expressions or conversational cues, even if they lack the capacity to feel the underlying emotions that usually prompt such a response. Sociopaths with a high-functioning ability to mimic emotions are usually more easily able to manipulate their victims.
Do sociopaths cry?
The common usage of sociopath is when is it used to describe people with shallow or insincere emotions. But what about displays of negative emotions, such as crying? Since it is nearly impossible for a true sociopath to empathize, they do not cry very often. A high-functioning sociopath may be able to mimic the shallow breathing and tears that characterize crying, but this would likely be a mode of manipulation instead of a show of true emotion. Additionally, the particularly calculated sociopaths tend to manipulate others through these false shows of emotion, including what may appear to be earnest crying. It seems as if the only time a sociopath would cry sincerely is when they’ve been physically hurt or injured.
Do sociopaths love?
The answer to this question depends on your definition of love. If your definition of love describes a person who can empathize, identify someone’s struggles, support another person in a loving manner, and choose to sacrifice their own wellbeing to contribute to yours, then you will find that sociopaths(or others diagnosed with ASPD) cannot experience love. This is because they lack the ability to empathize, and instead of seeking loving and mutually beneficial relationships, they only seek victims and accomplices that serve their own personal interests. While surprisingly high-functioning sociopaths may be able to mimic the social conventions associated with a loving relationship, it’s unlikely that they are actually feeling love towards anyone else.
How do sociopaths think?
What do sociopaths fear?
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