What Does A High-Functioning Sociopath Look Like?

When relationships show signs of becoming toxic, some people may begin to wonder if they’re in a relationship with a sociopath. Perhaps you are and don't know it, or maybe you suspect it, but you're not sure. Many people don't think sociopaths can function in a relationship, but some are able to manage relationships for a time.  These individuals may not have your best interests at heart, though. The American Psychological Society recognizes someone who shows signs of sociopathy as having anti-social personality disorder. Here are some signs that your partner may be a high-functioning sociopath:

The positive (at first) traits

There may be several traits that a sociopath has that can make them seem like a great person at first. When you first met your partner, you may have noticed several positive personality traits. The problem may be that the negative aspects of a sociopath's personality make it nearly impossible for them to use these traits in positive ways. Instead, these traits are soon twisted or overshadowed by other aspects of their personality. For example, they might act be extremely kind towards someone, but only to manipulate them in getting what they want.

Above-average intelligence

It could be helpful to know that a sociopath can be extremely smart. They tend to have an above-average IQ and may want to show you just how smart they are. In fact, they may use their intelligence to figure out ways to scheme against people or manipulate circumstances in their life to get what they want. This high IQ may also present itself as narcissism, and they may have delusions of being better than other people because they are intelligent.

Personable and likable

It may seem strange to reconcile likeability with someone who can be manipulative and narcissistic. Still, a high-functioning sociopath might present themselves as friendly, charming, and likable. After you get to know them, you might begin to realize that they're not who you first thought they were. Sociopaths generally have very few friends and can be disloyal to those they do have.

Savvy

Because they can be quite manipulative, a sociopath might also be considered savvy. Some can work a room and even use the crowd to help them with their personal and professional endeavors. When they turn on the charm, they can achieve just about anything they want. Thus, sociopaths may experience success in many areas of their life. Once they lose interest or have achieved their goals, though, they may turn off the charm and begin burning bridges. The sociopath may not think about the long-term associations of their actions. They may appear to only care about the immediate circumstances.

The negative traits

On the other hand, a sociopath may also have some recognizably negative traits, even from the start. These are the traits that they don't try to hide, so you might recognize them quickly. 

Lack of conscience

Someone who is a high-functioning sociopath may experience a lack of empathy. They might have no interest or concern for other people and appear to only care about their own best interests. They may be willing to go to extremes to get their way, including ignoring social convention. They may steal, make up stories, and push responsibility onto other people. They might play the victim and can be patiently calculating to get what they want.

Lack of sympathy

Sociopaths don’t experience emotions on others’ behalf. They may appear to have little or no care for other people. Instead, they might focus on their own need to be admired. They might expect praise from others. If they do not get the praise they feel entitled to, or they receive criticism on any level, they could become angry and volatile.

Above the rules

Most people realize the need to follow certain societal rules, but a sociopath may not. Instead, they might believe that the rules do not apply to them, so they will do whatever they want to do. Sociopaths may enjoy breaking the rules, and some may even enjoy hurting others. They know the difference between right and wrong, but they may not care. 

Impulsive

Sociopaths can be impulsive and may act on immediate desires with no regard for future consequences. They may be willing to infringe on others’ personal boundaries to get what they want. If conflict arises as a result, they may blame others instead of taking any personal responsibility for their actions. 

Lack of judgment

Even if a sociopath is hurt by something that they've done, they may not learn from their mistakes. Rather, they may stubbornly continue down the same path. Outsiders may see them doing these things and think that it's strange, or others might see better ways to go about doing them. But a sociopath may ignore all other opinions in favor of their own.

Addictive behaviors

Some sociopaths may fall prey to addictive behavior. Because they feel like they are in complete control and the rules don't apply to them, a sociopath may experiment with just about anything. Their addiction may then feed into their narcissism and their feeling of being all-powerful. This can make their negative traits even worse and could cause them to act out in even more destructive and harmful ways, both to themselves and to others.

You may see examples of high-functioning sociopaths in your everyday life or the media. These may be people who seem powerful, strong, determined, and skilled. Sociopaths shouldn’t be underestimated. They may be willing to step on anyone to succeed, and they may go to extreme lengths to reach their own goals, regardless of who they hurt.

Getting professional help

If you know a sociopath or you have been hurt by one, you may need to work through the problems that they have caused. Maybe you've worked with a sociopath, or maybe you've been a friend or a partner. Perhaps they're a part of your family. No matter how you know them, the chances are that once you stopped being useful to them, they stopped hanging around. Or maybe they're still in your life, but you've been used time and again. It may take time and effort to recover from your interactions with a high functioning sociopath, but you can do it.

Perhaps the most important thing is to seek out a mental health professional to help you along the way. Working with a therapist in person can be difficult for some people, though. If you’ve been manipulated by a sociopath, for instance, you might feel embarrassed about your situation, which could make opening up to a therapist challenging. An online environment might make you feel more comfortable discussing your feelings.  It can also be more convenient since there’s no need for a commute. 

Internet-based counseling is also supported by research. A comprehensive meta-analysis of studies determined that there is no significant difference between online and in-person counseling in terms of outcomes. The study spanned various populations and mental health challenges. 

Takeaway

A high-functioning sociopath may be in a position to do the most damage to the people around them. That’s because they are adept at masking the signs of their sociopathy. If you need help dealing with the aftermath of having one of these types of people in your life, reach out to Regain for online support.