Seven Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms That Are Keeping You From Moving Forward
When you feel stuck in your life, it is difficult to decipher what is holding you back and more so figure out how to move forward. You may even know what is keeping you back, but still feel like you are falling further and further behind. The truth is your coping mechanisms can be the cause of your inability to move forward.
Coping mechanisms can be defined by the thoughts and behaviors you use to mobilize resources to manage life’s stressors. They are neither inherently good nor bad, but some coping strategies you use may not serve your best interests and can be the reason you are feeling stuck. In this article, you will learn about several coping mechanisms that negatively impact your ability to recover from life’s challenges and impede your ability to thrive. From this knowledge, you will also learn about positive ways to move forward and the benefits of mental health therapy.
What are negative coping mechanisms?
When you experience a traumatic or tragic event, moving on can be impeded by the coping mechanisms you use during stressful times. There are several ways we respond to these overwhelming events, some of which may include avoiding or suppressing the feelings they cause. You may also distract yourself from facing these difficult emotions by spending money or using substances, such as alcohol.
People with a history of traumatic experiences have been shown in studies to exhibit more unhealthy ways of coping. However, a single traumatic event can cause a person to use these negative coping mechanism because they simply do not know how to manage the impact. No matter the cause, using unhealthy methods to cope with hard times can be a major contributor to feeling stuck in life and unable to move forward. Read on to learn more.
1. Avoidance
Many of us feel that if we ignore the problem, then it does not exist. This avoidance coping is similar to small children who close their eyes to escape the dark or hide under the covers to avoid the monster under the bed. From a child’s perspective, if they do not see it, then it is just not there. But the truth is, avoiding your problems does not make them go away and can lead to bigger problems in the future. When you turn away from processing problematic or threatening situations or feelings, you are at an increased risk of developing psychological symptoms such as low self-esteem, loneliness, and increased anxiety.
2. Impulsive spending
Some people will spend money to cope with stress, calling it “retail therapy” because it makes them feel better. However, spending money to cope with social or emotional distress will not fix the problem nor make it go away. Yes, shopping for something new may relieve your stress momentarily, but you may feel the psychological and financial consequences after the shopping high has passed. Spending can quickly grow out of control and you will soon realize the pain and the trauma are still there, along with the bills. Furthermore, you may experience compounding emotions resulting from feelings of loss of control, frustration, and regret.
3. Alcohol use and other substances
Using alcohol is one of the most common negative coping mechanisms that will keep someone from moving forward, and can cause a person serious problems. You may find that alcohol keeps you from feeling the pain or lightens your stress load, but this effect is not only temporary but incredibly unhealthy. Excessive use can damage your health and lead to addiction, overdose, and worsened symptoms of depressive or anxiety disorders. Some people may also use other substances, such as illicit drugs, to cope with trauma. All of which will not resolve the underlying issues, but can lead to serious mental and physical health problems.
4. Running away
All humans have the “fight-or-flight” response that serves to protect us against inevitable stress and threats to our survival. Sometimes, the best thing to do to get out of a dangerous situation is to flee, but running away only helps you to be safe at the moment. You are unable to run away from the emotions you experience after the trauma or tragedy has occurred. Eventually, you will need to face the event, no matter how far you try to psychologically run from it. When the thought of confronting these memories or feeling overwhelms you, know you can talk to a mental health therapist to help you make this difficult journey.
5. Smoking
Smoking is another negative habit that may bring you temporary stress relief but inflicts a significant amount of harm. That is because smoking has a whole lot of negative connotations. Where you are going to get a momentary stress release (as most people claim when it comes to smoking), you’re not going to get anything else. When the smoke clears (literally), you’re going to be facing a lot of health problems to go along with everything else that you’re now trying to get through. It’s not worth it.
6. Sleeping
Sleep is a necessary component of brain and body health, but if you find yourself sleeping in excess amounts, you may be using it as a maladaptive coping mechanism. If you choose to sleep or find yourself excessively fatigued when faced with stress or trauma, you may be using sleep to cope. After all, you are unable to think about your problems when you are sleeping, right? Unfortunately, when you awake you most likely will feel the weight of the issue returning. Keep in mind that excessive fatigue and sleepiness can be an indicator of a serious medical or mental health condition. Speak with a medical professional to talk about your symptoms so they can help identify the true cause.
7. Eating habits
Healthy eating habits will give you energy and promote health and wellness. However, on the other end of this eating spectrum is unhealthy food choices people make to help cope with stress and difficult life events. This may mean overeating, undereating, or indulging in fast food and sweets. As a result, negative coping with food can lead to worsening health, gaining or losing weight, and other negative health effects of unhealthy eating patterns. If you are concerned that you are managing an eating disorder, speak with your healthcare provider or reach for help here at the NEDA hotline.
What are positive coping mechanisms?
Now that we have taken a look at some negative coping mechanisms, let’s also take a little closer look at some of the positive things that you could and should be doing to help you get through trauma or tragedy. Managing trauma is extremely difficult and you do not need to deal with it alone. Know you can reach out to your loved ones or a mental health therapist to help you through these difficult times. Whether you have experienced abuse, the loss of a loved one, a breakup, the loss of a job, or any severe stress, reaching for support and learning to practice positive or adaptive coping mechanisms can be the change that helps you move forward in your life.
If you are facing or witnessing abuse of any kind, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or Text "START" to 88788. You can also use the online chat.
1. Exercise
In healthy amounts, you can help yourself work through some of your trauma and some of your pain by exercising. This does not mean you should throw yourself into an excessive exercise routine that drains your energy and serves as an avoidance coping mechanism. Rather, practice at least 30 minutes of exercise each day to improve your physical and mental health. Research studies have found that exercise can lower blood pressure, ease symptoms of depression, improve sleep, and reduce your risk of developing heart disease. Exercise can also help you boost your mood, as it releases endorphins, hormones released during exercise that improves mood while relieving stress and pain.
2. Find a new hobby
Finding a distraction from the stress of what is going on in your life is not necessarily a bad thing. However, it should be a positive outlet that does not cause harm but instead gives you positive reinforcement and joy. A hobby can be an ideal way to dispel some of that nervous energy and is a healthy way to distract yourself. Some hobbies you can try out are an artistic outlet, such as painting or basket weaving. You can also try to learn a new form of dance or instrument. You may find that you like many different things, or you may enjoy the pursuit of a hobby without finding something specific.
3. Practice meditative yoga
While stress is natural and a common occurrence in life, living with stress for prolonged periods can impact a person’s physical and mental health. Meditative practices like yoga can help you to relax both your body and mind. Yoga can help mitigate stress responses by regulating breathing and bodily movements, as well as by focusing your mind on the present moment as opposed to the pain of the past. People describe their mental state during yoga as one of clarity, calm, and focus. Like meditation techniques, yoga practice helps to clear the mind of unwanted thoughts and encourage harmony between mind and body. Yoga is also a great way to exercise and can help develop muscle strength, flexibility, and general wellbeing.
Reaching out for professional help
Working with a therapist or mental health professional will be an extremely positive way that you can work through whatever it is you are experiencing. Whether you have gone through a personal trauma or something that you may tell yourself is ‘no big deal,’ validate your experience and recognize it is something that is hurting you. For you, it is a big deal, and you deserve to get the help you need. Talking with a professional can help you do just that and make it easier to overcome whatever you might be going through.
When you realize you are unable to move forward because of negative coping mechanisms, know you are already on your path of changing the impact a stuck mindset has on your life. However, because these coping mechanisms have been helping you manage difficult events or situations in your life, unlearning this behavioral response can be quite challenging. Talking to a licensed therapy expert can help as they support you in finding the best motivational, emotional, and cognitive solutions for your unique situation.
You may find that online therapy is an appropriate fit for you, especially if your busy schedule requires convenience and openness not available with in-person therapy. Online therapy has been shown in studies to help those manage the consequences of negative thinking patterns and coping mechanisms. For example, 466 participants joined a study due to their interest in becoming happier through online positive psychology interventions (OPPIs). The participants who were randomly assigned to online optimism-building interventions reported that they engaged more in activities that brought them happiness and experienced less dysfunctional pessimism in their daily lives.
Regain is an online therapy platform that can match you with a licensed therapist who can help you navigate your journey in moving forward. They can provide tools and guidance to help you overcome obstacles you are facing and develop positive strategies to get through life’s adversities in the future. Here you will find many different therapists available who can help you better understand what’s happening and just how you can use positive coping skills to build yourself back up.
Takeaway
We all feel lonely, nervous, sad, or angry from time to time, which is why it is important to learn adaptive coping mechanisms to help us through these times. Drawing from different coping methods can allow a person to develop healthy coping strategies when faced with tough situations to build up resilience. However, when faced with a traumatic or tragic life event, many of us fall into negative patterns and coping mechanisms that lead to feeling stuck in our lives and unable to move forward. Identifying that you are stuck and ready to move forward is the first step towards letting go of negative coping mechanisms and finding health once again. When you recognize you are unable to do this alone, reach for help from an online mental health professional and start your journey ahead.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are some unhealthy coping mechanisms?
When you are unable to deal with stress, it can lead to feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. When a person does not have healthy coping mechanisms, it can also lead to negative coping mechanisms to avoid feeling pain. Defense mechanisms work by changing how we feel or interpret the situation, but they do not actually change the reality of what is happening. Unhealthy coping mechanisms include refusing to discuss the current reality, turning to food, drugs, or alcohol to numb the emotional response, and putting negative feelings or motives on someone else. Another unhealthy coping mechanism can be when a person just completely shuts down and refuses to talk about their problems or emotions or insists that everything is perfectly fine, even when they are struggling.
While using unhealthy coping mechanisms might feel better than engaging with negative emotions at first, it can lead to negative consequences. Keeping the difficult feelings out of awareness through the use of defense mechanisms results in the development of a “false self,” which leads to the inability to develop resilience. When people choose to avoid processing negative feelings or traumatic experiences by engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms, people stifle their ability to adapt to stressful circumstances and bounce back from adverse events. While using a maladaptive coping mechanism can stifle a person’s ability to be resilient, resiliency can be learned over time as positive coping begins.
What are the four types of coping mechanisms?
The four types of coping mechanisms are projection, dissociation, self-medication, and denial. Projection is a coping mechanism whereby a person attaches unacceptable feelings or motives to someone else instead of accepting responsibility for those feelings. For example, in a situation where a family acquaintance tells another family acquaintance that they feel the person is acting selfish, someone using a negative coping mechanism such as projection might respond by saying, “No, you are selfish, not me,” as opposed to engaging in a conversation with the person around their feelings. Utilizing a negative coping mechanism, such as projection, allows the person to be distracted from the problem that lies within.
Another negative coping mechanism is dissociation. Dissociation is one of the four defense mechanisms that people use when they cannot articulate certain aspects of their experience and keep difficult feelings out of consciousness. For example, a person might say, “this is not happening to me,” rather than engaging with the emotions as they arise. Dissociation is a negative coping strategy focused on escaping overwhelming emotions associated with a traumatic memory.
Self-medication as a defense mechanism is often associated with addiction. Oftentimes this negative coping strategy is seen as a defensive way to avoid feelings of helplessness. The person tries to compensate with addictive behavior for painful states of low self-esteem, doubts, and anxiety linked to the processing of difficult emotions or traumatic events. The use of drugs, alcohol, or, in some instances food, provides a feeling of control, acceptance, and temporary self-confidence. Self-medication is a form of negative coping because it can prevent the user from understanding their distress and developing the emotional capacity to self-soothe when tough.
The fine of the four types of defense mechanisms is denial. Denial is a negative coping mechanism where the individual selectively ignores certain pieces of information. By denying a person’s circumstances, the individual detaches from reality to cope. When using denial as an unhealthy coping mechanism, people revise their beliefs in the face of new evidence of good news but ignore whatever problems may arise. For example, alcoholics or drug addicts convince themselves that they do not have a problem because addiction is often a source of shame, self-hatred, and low self-worth. When we deny situations, we are engaging with negative coping and are prevent ourselves from experiencing the reality of the current situation.
Using an unhealthy coping mechanism can cause stunted emotional and personal growth and the inability to adapt to difficult situations. While at the moment, utilizing a coping mechanism can prevent a person from experiencing negative feelings, the long-term impacts can be detrimental to a person’s overall growth and well-being, which is why positive coping strategies are so important to learn.
What are five unhealthy ways of coping with stress?
Stress is an unfortunate part of life, so productively coping with stress is so important. Unhealthy coping mechanisms can oftentimes lead to an increase in stress and worsen the problem at hand.
While many maladaptive coping mechanisms exist, five maladaptive coping mechanisms include criticizing yourself, engaging in risk-taking behavior, becoming aggressive or violent, avoiding loved ones, eating too much or too little, drinking alcohol in excess, or drug use.
On the other hand, adaptive coping mechanisms keep you in the present moment and allow you to work towards solving your problems actively. While it might be difficult to deal with those emotions, positive coping strategies’ long-term benefits are immense. When you work through times of difficulty instead of avoiding them, you can become more resilient.
What are examples of coping mechanisms?
We all feel lonely, nervous, sad, or angry from time-to-time, which is why it is important to learn adaptive coping mechanisms to help us through these times. Drawing from different coping methods can allow a person to develop healthy coping strategies when tough and build up their resilience.
Emotion-focused coping skills can help you face your emotions head-on while engaging in an activity you enjoy. Some emotion-focused positive coping strategies include cleaning the house, coloring, cooking a meal, practicing yoga, drawing, going for a walk or exercising, playing with a pet, reading a book, listening to music, listing things you feel grateful for, meditating, reframing the way you think about a problem, or taking a bath.
While some people might prefer to deal with their emotions head-on, others might find it easier to engage in problem-focused coping. Problem-focused coping is an adaptive coping mechanism that involves changing your behavior or creating a plan to help you figure out a path forward. Some positive coping strategies include asking for support from a friend or a professional, creating a to-do list or action plan, engaging in problem-solving, establishing healthy boundaries, walking away, or working on making your time more enjoyable.
By engaging with either of these adaptive coping mechanisms, people can work through their problems in a way that builds resilience and prepares them for the next time difficult times arise.
What are 3 coping strategies?
Three coping methods are problem-oriented, emotion-oriented, and avoidance-oriented. Problem-oriented coping consists of efforts aimed at solving the problem. Engaging with problem-oriented coping involves targeting the cause of stress in a practical way that tackles the problem in a way that directly reduces the stress. Problem-oriented coping strategies aim to reduce or remove the stressor’s cause through problem-solving, time-management strategies, and obtaining social support.
Emotion-oriented coping involves emotional reactions to the negative situations that are at hand. The adaptive coping strategy attempts to reduce negative emotional responses that are often associated with stress. Emotion-focused techniques might be the only realistic option for coping with negative feelings when a situation is out of a person’s control. Emotion-focused coping can have benefits when done correctly. However, it is a slippery slope leading to more of the long-term consequences of avoidance-coping mechanisms. Whereas an example of a maladaptive coping approach could be keeping yourself busy to take your mind off the issue so that you never actually deal with the issue at hand.
Avoidance-orientated coping involves activities and cognitions to avoid the stressful situation and be of a distraction or social diversion nature. Avoidance coping is a form of maladaptive coping, in which a person changes their behavior to avoid thinking, about, feeling, or doing difficult things. Avoiding the problem might seem like a great way not to have to deal with the situation, but using maladaptive coping can actually lead to increased stress levels and exacerbate the problem at hand.
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