What Can You Expect From A Speed Dating Event?
Key takeaways
- Speed dating events allow you to meet and talk with many different single people at once in an in-person setting.
- To make the most of these events, it can help to be fully present for each date, stay open to each connection, and show up as your true self.
- Whether you are meeting people through speed dating or other avenues, dating can often be confusing and emotionally draining—if you need support, a therapist can help.
If you are trying to find that special someone and are feeling frustrated with online dating or trying to meet people organically, speed dating may be another avenue worth exploring. At speed dating events, you can meet many different singles and talk with them for a few minutes each to see if there might be a connection. Given their structure, speed dating events can present some unique dynamics for those who attend, but there are several ways you can prepare and make the most of them. For additional support with speed dating and other dating-related concerns, you can connect with a licensed therapist.
What is unique about the speed dating experience?
Speed dating events allow you to meet and talk with many different single people at once. These events have dynamics that differentiate them from other ways of meeting potential partners, such as through online dating apps, through friends, or at parties or other events. Some of these unique dynamics include the following:
- They let you meet many different people in person, rather than online.
- They allow you to assess potential compatibility with someone beyond just initial attraction, by giving you a chance to talk with them for a few minutes, rather than simply swiping “yes” or “no” based on their photos.
- They are specifically designed as singles events, so you can be confident that most people who attend are single and looking to meet someone to date.
- They offer a structured and fun way to quickly meet and match with other singles, without the pressure of having to express your interest directly to their face, as these events typically don’t allow participants to exchange contact information during the initial speed dating rounds.
Making the most of the speed dating experience
With these unique dynamics of speed dating in mind, there are some tips you can consider that may help you make the most of the experience. For instance:
- Try to be present in the moment for each date by engaging in active listening and asking follow-up questions.
- Try to be open to each potential connection—you never know when you might hit it off with someone.
- Try to show up as your true self to make a strong first impression and allow yourself to form authentic connections.
What do you need to know about how speed dating works?
Another important part of making the most of the speed dating experience involves being mentally and emotionally prepared for the event. A key piece of this is understanding how the events function.
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Understanding the basics of how speed dating works
Speed dating events are often structured as follows:
- Beforehand, individuals typically must register for the event, which may be geared toward people of a certain age range or group.
- During the event, individuals rotate around the room to have very brief “dates” with the other participants, often just a few minutes each.
- At the end of the event, after people meet, event organizers usually have participants fill out a card that has them list anyone they would be interested in getting to know further. This can give you time to reflect on who you might be interested in, rather than being forced to make a quick decision when swiping on an app.
- After the event, the event organizers enable the participants to connect with their matches, normally by sending the contact information for the singles who included each other on their lists.
What is the difference between a standard singles speed dating event vs. matched speed dating events?
While the information above details the typical structure of a speed dating event, there can also be several variations and different features, depending on the specific event you attend. One such variation is called “matched” speed dating.
What to expect at a standard singles speed dating event
At a standard speed dating event, you may have to register beforehand. When you arrive, you will be meeting most or all of the other singles there by rotating seats every few minutes. At these standard events, there is typically no advanced “matchmaking” occurring—it is all dependent on how the singles connect at the event itself.
What to expect at matched speed dating events
In contrast, “matched” speed dating events offer a modern spin on traditional speed dating events. With these events, singles usually set up a profile ahead of the event, and that profile is used to find their best potential matches. At the event, individuals then “speed date” the other singles with whom they have already been matched.
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Where can you find support with speed dating and other dating-related questions?
Whether you are trying your hand at speed dating or attempting to meet people in other ways, navigating the dating scene can be confusing, stressful, and emotionally draining at times. If you would like support in determining what you are looking for, cultivating stronger communication skills, feeling more confident in your true self, or learning to manage the stress of dating, meeting with a therapist in person or online can help.
Dating can often be time-consuming, so if you are already stretched thin, the idea of also commuting to a therapist’s office might seem like too much. In these cases, online relationship therapy may be a convenient option.
Plus, in a recent study, researchers found evidence demonstrating online couples therapy to be a viable alternative to face-to-face sessions. A growing body of evidence suggests that online therapy produces the same results as traditional in-person mental health care.
Takeaway
Speed dating events can give you a unique opportunity to meet and talk with other singles in an in-person setting. To make the most of the experience, it can be helpful to be fully present, stay open to different connections, and show up as your authentic self. For support navigating speed dating and other relationship-related concerns, you can connect with a licensed therapist online or in person.
What is the success rate of speed dating?
While more research is needed, a 2011 study reported that around 6% of speed-dating participants eventually had sex with someone they met through speed dating, and about 4% of speed-dating participants entered a relationship with someone they met through speed dating. As this study is now almost 15 years old, the average percentage of people who enter relationships via speed dating may have changed over time.
What not to do at speed dating?
It may be important not to dominate the conversation. Trying to strike a balance between asking and answering questions may help you decide whether your conversation partner could be a good match. You might also be sure to show interest in everyone, even those you aren’t immediately attracted to.
What sort of people go speed dating?
A variety of people may participate in speed dating events. Speed dating can be a great way to meet new people you wouldn’t typically talk to and escape the endless swiping associated with dating apps. The point of speed dating is typically to solve the problem of not knowing how or where to meet eligible singles.
How long does speed dating usually last?
Speed dating events usually last one to three hours and often occur at night. Each “date” with strangers may last between two and 10 minutes before all participants switch to the next pairing. There may also be a break in the middle of the event for people to grab food or a drink. Some events may even include a dance lesson or other activities.
Is speed dating for old people?
Speed dating events are often targeted to different age ranges. Some may be for young adults, and others may be for older adults.
What to say when speed dating?
It can be important to be yourself when speed dating. As you have a limited amount of time to make an impression on each person you meet, it’s generally best to be authentic.
What if you don't find a match at speed dating?
If you don’t find a match at speed dating, it can be common to feel discouraged. However, this doesn’t reflect on you as a person, and there are many other ways to meet and connect with people.
What are the drawbacks of speed dating?
One potential drawback of speed dating is that it’s often more challenging for introverts to connect with others in this dating format. There also tends to be significant pressure to make a good first impression, which can be stressful, especially at the beginning of the event.
Some individuals may worry about how to dress and whether topics like current events in the world are appropriate to discuss, so nervousness can be common. It may be helpful to plan out a few potential conversation topics ahead of time.
Do people go to speed dating alone?
Many people attend speed dating events alone. Some may invite a group of friends to come along. It’s usually necessary to buy a ticket to register for the event, which can help the speed dating coordinators ensure that there’s an even mix of men and women (for heterosexual speed dating).
What is speed dating etiquette?
It can be important to arrive at the event on time and to treat everyone with respect, regardless of whether you’re interested in them. Practice active listening and be yourself. In addition, it’s best not to ask the people you’re talking with about whether they’d like to go on a date. Instead, people typically mark down the individuals they’re interested in on a provided log and submit their preferences to the speed dating coordinators, who will share the contact information of people who are interested in each other. They can then decide whether they’d like to go on a date or visit each other to further explore their connection.
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