Want to learn more about emotional manipulation?

Emotional manipulation is a form of abuse that should be taken seriously. Learn to recognize six common emotional manipulation techniques and what to do about them if you or someone you know is experiencing them.

Six Emotional Manipulation Techniques And How To Recognize And Stop Them | Regain

<p dir="ltr"><strong>Frequently asked questions (FAQs)</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>What is considered emotional manipulation?</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">Emotional manipulation occurs when someone attempts to have domain over another person using exploitative strategies. It can come in various forms, but they have in common that the emotionally manipulative person will usually attempt to belittle you in some way.&nbsp;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33746811/">Emotional manipulators&nbsp;</a>can be masters of coercing people into believing that they are under their control, using techniques like emotional bullying, passive aggression, guilt, and comparison to get what they want.</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>How do you recognize emotional manipulation?</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">Being able to recognize the signs of emotional manipulation appropriately is crucial to escaping the situation. An emotional manipulator can tend to get close to you quickly, engaging in tactics like love-bombing to help you feel cared for. They may also twist the facts of a story, often focusing on emotional purposes to guilt you into feeling bad for them or to paint you as a bad person. If you find yourself consistently questioning your reality around someone, apologizing to them for things that either didn&rsquo;t happen or that you&rsquo;re not at fault for, or feeling as though you must walk on eggshells around them because you&rsquo;re unsure of how they may react to just about anything, this person may be emotionally manipulating you.&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>What are examples of manipulation?</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">Emotionally manipulative individuals may often use guilt, sympathy, anger, and sarcasm to influence your thinking. They may also threaten you, purposely withhold information from you, and even isolate you from your loved ones as a way to keep you somehow reliant on the. In an emotionally abusive relationship, some tactics that they use can include gaslighting, the use of sex, and dishonesty.</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>How do you know if you&rsquo;re being gaslit?</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.thehotline.org/resources/what-is-gaslighting/">Gaslighting</a> is a common tactic used by emotionally manipulative people. It focuses on gradual emotional wear and tear by making you question your thoughts, events around you, and your memories. If you&rsquo;re being gaslit, you may notice an increase in your anxiety with a subsequent decrease in your confidence. You may question everything you do and think everything is your fault, leading you to apologize for things that you shouldn&rsquo;t. It can also lead to a massive increase in difficulty when it comes to making decisions. You may often feel as if you&rsquo;re disassociating from your old self and cannot pinpoint what is wrong. In more severe cases, you might even make excuses for your partner&rsquo;s behavior and avoid telling friends or family about them to avoid confrontation. If you recognize any of these signs, you should seek help right away.</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>Is manipulating someone illegal?</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/7/9">Manipulating someone is illegal.</a> The tricky part is that it can be difficult for prosecutors to pinpoint any manipulation since the signs can often be subtle. For this reason, dealing with emotionally manipulative people can often be difficult. The evidence is often not concrete since the abuse is typically not physically visible, which can make it tough to hold up in court. If you&rsquo;re dealing with emotional manipulation currently and you can recognize the signs, don&rsquo;t hesitate to seek advice and legal counsel.</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>Is gaslighting emotional abuse?</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">Gaslighting is often a staple of emotionally abusive relationships. It is widely considered a kind of emotional abuse and one of the primary signs of emotional manipulation. Emotionally abusive people will often use this and other tactics to try and seize control of a relationship.</p>

When you love someone, you tend to view them through an idealistic lens that blinds you to their negative traits. When it’s something innocuous, like nail-biting or leaving...

Six Emotional Manipulation Techniques And How To Recognize And Stop Them

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<p dir="ltr"><em>Content warning: This article includes references to abuse and other topics that may be considered triggering. Please proceed with discretion. If you are experiencing or witnessing any form of abuse, you can contact the <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/">National Domestic Violence Hotline</a> at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).&nbsp;</em></p>
<p dir="ltr">&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr">Manipulative behavior can be subtle, but its effects can be profound in any context. Manipulation can lead to feelings of anger, confusion, and stress, as well as reduced self-esteem. Things can become even more problematic when the person manipulating you is your significant other, a situation that has the potential to create feelings of resentment and lead to an unhealthy relationship dynamic. But how do you know when your partner is being manipulative?</p>
<p dir="ltr">In this article, we will explore manipulation in relationships in more detail: what it is, common warning signs of manipulation, and how therapy can help you move forward when you feel your partner is being manipulative.&nbsp;</p>
</div>
<figure class="image"><img src="https://dy7glz37jgl0b.cloudfront.net/advice/images/ace6b106be1fbe5c3443450ca33add67-woman-looks-stressed-and-holds-her-head-in-her-hands-while-sitting-on-a-couch-next-to-a-man_l.jpg" alt="A couple sits on each end of the couch while the woman is holding her head using both hands and the man is staring at his wife looking concerned. " width="1288" height="860">
<figcaption>Getty/Vadym Pastukh</figcaption><div class='article-cta article_cta  '><div class='article_cta_container'><div role='heading' aria-level='2' class='article_cta_text'>Have concerns about manipulation in your relationship?</div><div class='embedded-cta-container'><a href='/get-started/' data-cta-count='0' class='btn btn-primary embedded-cta'>Get advice from a licensed therapist</a></div></div></div>
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<div style="background-color: #ecf0f1; padding: 20px; text-align: center;"><em>"Manipulation can happen to the best of us, so don&rsquo;t feel bad if it happens to you. Manipulation does not come with a loud roar, it usually creeps quietly into a room until you are under its spell. If this happens to you, don&rsquo;t feel ashamed, rather acknowledge the manipulation and seek out a <a href="https://www.regain.us/get-started/">counselor for guidance</a> on how to set boundaries to avoid falling into the manipulation trap again. It&rsquo;s definitely doable!" - <a href="https://www.regain.us/wendy-boring-bray/" rel="nofollow noreferrer">Dr. Wendy Boring-Bray, DBH, LPCC</a></em></div>
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<h2 dir="ltr">What is manipulation in a relationship?</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Manipulation is the use of calculated emotional and mental tactics in order to get another person to behave in a certain way. It is often a way of exerting control and power over another person by influencing them to act or react in a way they otherwise wouldn&rsquo;t. Manipulation may involve exploiting a person&rsquo;s weaknesses and feelings, using psychological tactics to push them in a certain direction, or even making them question their own instincts and memories.&nbsp;</p>
In a relationship, manipulative behavior can be insidious. Your romantic partner is often one of the closest people to you in your life, meaning there is potential for them to exploit your emotions and take advantage of their closeness to you in order to get what they want. In some cases, manipulation in a relationship may even be considered a form of emotional abuse. According to a study from 2020,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7683637/">emotional abuse can have a range of potential negative side effects</a>, including stress and anxiety, low self-esteem, fear, and depression. But how do you recognize manipulative behavior in your relationship?<strong><br></strong>
<h2 dir="ltr">Warning signs of manipulative behavior</h2>
<p dir="ltr">The warning signs of manipulation can be subtle and difficult to spot. That said, manipulation tends to take a few common forms, which it may be helpful to be aware of if you have concerns about manipulation in your relationship. Some warning signs of manipulation to watch out for include:</p>
<ul>
<li dir="ltr" aria-level="1">
<p dir="ltr" role="presentation"><strong>Guilt trips:</strong> Guilt-tripping is the act of trying to make another person feel bad or ashamed in order to make them change their mind about something, apologize for something, or change their course of action. This could involve bringing up past mistakes, implying or stating that something was hurtful, or otherwise trying to create feelings of shame or guilt.</p>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" aria-level="1">
<p dir="ltr" role="presentation"><strong>Making you question your sanity:</strong> Also known as gaslighting, this form of manipulation involves making someone question their recollections or perceptions. Someone engaging in gaslighting may insist that a lie is actually the truth, stand by an incorrect version of events, or respond to those who question them with statements like, &ldquo;You&rsquo;re crazy,&rdquo; or &ldquo;You&rsquo;re making things up.&rdquo;</p>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" aria-level="1">
<p dir="ltr" role="presentation"><strong>Coercion:</strong> Coercion is the use of threats in order to get a person to act a certain way. A common example of coercion in a relationship is when one partner threatens to leave the other in order to make their partner do what they want.&nbsp;</p>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" aria-level="1">
<p dir="ltr" role="presentation"><strong>Giving you the silent treatment: </strong>When your partner emotionally or physically withdraws from you, this may be a sign that they are trying to manipulate you. They may stop talking to you altogether, or otherwise withhold physical or emotional affection until you act the way they want you to.&nbsp;</p>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" aria-level="1">
<p dir="ltr" role="presentation"><strong>Love-bombing: </strong>This form of manipulation involves an intense demonstration of love and affection that often happens earlier than expected in a relationship. It may also include excessive flattery, extravagant gifts, or moving forward too quickly, which can then later evolve into other forms of manipulation or abuse.&nbsp;</p>
</li>
</ul>
These are just a few examples of manipulative behaviors to watch out for in your relationship. It&rsquo;s important to note that it&rsquo;s common for most people to engage in occasional manipulative behaviors, sometimes unintentionally, and not all signs of manipulation necessarily point to an unhealthy relationship dynamic. However, if a pattern of these behaviors develops in your relationship, that may a potential warning sign.&nbsp;<strong id="docs-internal-guid-c96db924-7fff-418c-6076-1e050f95d620"></strong><br>
<p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;"><img src="https://advice.cdn.betterhelp.com/md/am-i-being-manipulated-in-my-relationship-17-signs-to-sr11.jpg" alt=""></span></p>
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<h2 dir="ltr">Couples therapy: A resource for navigating manipulation</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Because of the closeness of romantic relationships, it can be difficult to figure out if behaviors you&rsquo;ve noticed are genuinely manipulative or not. Manipulation is not always intentional, and it can stem from other causes besides malicious intent. <a href="https://www.regain.us/get-started/">A licensed relationship therapist</a> can provide useful insight into whether what you&rsquo;re experiencing is a cause for concern.&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr">Relationship therapy can allow couples to strengthen their communication, get to the bottom of potentially unhealthy dynamics, and determine the best course of action for their situation. That said, couples with busy schedules may find it difficult to attend in-person relationship counseling. In these cases, online relationship therapy through a platform like <a href="https://www.regain.us/get-started/">Regain</a> may be beneficial. With the ability to attend counseling from wherever is most convenient, online therapy provides an element of flexibility that may make it more accessible for couples juggling commitments at home and at work.&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr">Studies have shown that online couples therapy is an effective alternative to in-person counseling. According to a 2022 study published in Frontiers in Psychology, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.773030/full">couples who attended therapy via videoconferencing saw similar results to in-person therapy</a>. Meanwhile, a study from 2020 found that <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02992/full">therapy delivered online led couples to feel closer to their therapists.</a>&nbsp;</p>
<figure class="image"><img src="https://dy7glz37jgl0b.cloudfront.net/advice/images/47aa63ba211c562ef712ab5d8865268e-person-sitting-on-floor-exercising-looking-at-phone_l.jpg" alt="A woman with a blonde afro sits on a yoga mat while smiling and looking at her phone. " width="1314" height="876">
<figcaption>Getty</figcaption><div class='article-cta article_cta  '><div class='article_cta_container'><div role='heading' aria-level='2' class='article_cta_text'>Have concerns about manipulation in your relationship?</div><div class='embedded-cta-container'><a href='/get-started/' data-cta-count='2' class='btn btn-primary embedded-cta'>Get advice from a licensed therapist</a></div></div></div>
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<h2 dir="ltr">Takeaway</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Manipulation is the use of emotional or mental strategies to influence another person&rsquo;s behavior. In relationships, manipulation can be difficult to spot, but it can have a variety of negative mental health consequences, and it may even be considered a form of emotional abuse. Possible signs of manipulation in a relationship include the silent treatment, coercion or guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and love-bombing, among others. If you are concerned your partner is showing signs of manipulative behavior, a licensed couples therapist, such as those on <a href="https://www.regain.us/get-started/">Regain</a>, can help you unpack what you&rsquo;ve experienced and find a strategy for moving forward.&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr"><em>If you are experiencing or witnessing abuse of any kind, you can reach out to the <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/">National Domestic Violence Hotline</a> at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).&nbsp;</em></p>
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Have concerns about manipulation in your relationship?

Manipulation in a relationship can take a variety of forms, and sometimes it can be hard to spot, but there are a few signs that may indicate your partner is being manipulative. We will explore them in this article.

Manipulation In A Relationship: Signs To Watch Out For | Regain

<p><strong><em>Frequently asked questions</em></strong></p>
<h2><strong>How do you tell if you're being manipulated in a relationship?</strong></h2>
<p>There are some telltale signs you&rsquo;re in a manipulative relationship. One common sign of emotional manipulation on the part of a romantic partner is emotional blackmail. Using this manipulation tactic, the manipulative person will typically use her feelings to get what they want. This could mean making you feel guilty for going out with friends by visibly getting upset so that you end up staying in with them or using your feelings against you in another way. Another sign you are in a relationship with a manipulative person is if you consistently feel insecure about the status of your relationship. One of the most common manipulation tactics is consistently threatening to leave or end a relationship.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p>Another common manipulation tactic is love bombing. Love bombing happens when someone showers you with love and affection at the beginning of a relationship, or during a relationship when they&rsquo;ve wronged you in some way. Although it may seem harmless or even sweet at first, it is often a sign that the person is emotionally manipulating you in order to gain (or win back) your trust and affection.</p>
<p>One common aspect of almost all manipulation tactics is lying. Lying is often meant to make you feel confused and question your sense of reality. If your gut instinct is telling you that you&rsquo;re being manipulated, try to objectively evaluate the behavior of your romantic partner.</p>
<p>For further reading, check out <a href="https://www.regain.us/advice/search/?search=manipulation">these medically reviewed articles</a> about manipulation.</p>
<h2><strong>What does emotional manipulation look like?</strong></h2>
<p>There are many different ways emotional manipulation might show up in a relationship. Emotional manipulation in relationships can happen when the other person uses your feelings against you. They may make you feel guilty for not giving them enough attention or make you feel confused in order to get what they want. They might make dramatic statements that are meant to make you feel bad about them. A manipulative person will often lie in order to create self-doubt and make you unsure of your sense of reality.&nbsp;</p>
<p>When faced with emotional manipulation in relationships, it is important that you establish boundaries. If you start to notice the manipulative person using the same tactics over and over, let them know that this behavior is not acceptable&mdash;and enforce boundaries you&rsquo;ve set when they start to use those manipulation tactics. Sometimes our default settings cause us to avoid conflict by allowing others to encroach on the clear boundaries we&rsquo;ve set in relationships.</p>
<p>Manipulation is kind of like tools that track your information online. You&rsquo;ve probably seen pop-ups that say &ldquo;Settings,&rdquo; or &ldquo;Reject.&rdquo; These gather information about you that they, or others, can use later. A manipulator may also gather information about you that they can use later on.</p>
<p>When manipulation has damaged a relationship, it is often necessary for one partner or both to spend some time working through things by seeing a relationship expert. A licensed psychologist or intimacy coach can help you work through issues with trust or other relationship concerns.</p>
<h2><strong>How do I know if I'm a manipulator?</strong></h2>
<p>It can be hard to tell if you&rsquo;re engaging in psychological manipulation, especially because this could be a result of a mental health condition like a narcissistic personality disorder. (For more information on narcissism in relationships, take a look at&nbsp;<a href="https://www.regain.us/advice/search/?search=narcissism">these medically reviewed articles</a>). It is often difficult to recognize behavior that arises out of mental health conditions.</p>
<p>If someone has told you that you&rsquo;ve been manipulative in romantic relationships, friendships, or family relationships, it may be necessary to examine your behavior.</p>
<p>For more info, take a look at <a href="https://www.regain.us/advice/general/am-i-manipulative-how-to-tell-if-youre-the-problem/">this medically reviewed article</a> that could help you determine whether you&rsquo;re being manipulative in relationships.</p>
<h2><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{">How do you outsmart a manipulative person?</span></h2>
<h2><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{">What kind of people do manipulators target?</span></h2>
<h2><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{">What do manipulators fear?</span></h2>
<h2><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{">What are the 5 stages of manipulation?</span></h2>
<h2><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{">How do you spot a manipulator?</span></h2>
<h2><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{">How do I stop being manipulated?</span></h2>
<h3><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{">What happens when you ignore a manipulator?<br></span></h3>
<h3>What are things manipulators say?</h3>
<h3>Can someone manipulate you without knowing?</h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>

Manipulative behavior can be subtle, but its effects can be profound in any context. Manipulation can lead to feelings of anger, confusion, and stress, as well as reduced...

Manipulation In A Relationship: Signs To Watch Out For

<p dir="ltr"><em><strong>Content warning:</strong> This article discusses themes that may relate to domestic violence or abuse and may be triggering for some readers. If you believe you or someone you know may be experiencing abuse, help is always available through the <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/">National Domestic Violence Hotline</a> at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). You can also text &ldquo;START&rdquo; to 88788 or visit the Hotline&rsquo;s site for free, personal chat options.</em></p>
<p dir="ltr">Relationships, whether they&rsquo;re familial, platonic, or romantic, can often be considered the bedrock of being a human. We are, to some degree, set apart from other mammals and animals for the way we interact with the others of our species, and the homes and lives we create for ourselves in conjunction with others. Relationships can therefore be a significant part of almost every human being's life, regardless of the exact presentation of those relationships. It is perhaps for this reason that spotting serious relationship red flags can often be difficult, if not altogether impossible, and that so many people find themselves in relationships that involve abuse, neglect, or bullying. Below, we&rsquo;ll discuss some signs that you may be experiencing manipulation and ways to overcome it.</p>
<h2 dir="ltr">What is manipulation?</h2>
<figure class="image"><img src="https://dy7glz37jgl0b.cloudfront.net/advice/images/86116914dd75d0bca0e86a8f63815ffd-man-in-green-hoodie-holds-phone-angry-at-partner-in-bed_l.jpg" alt="A man in a green hoodie turns his back on his partner while holding his cellphone with an angry expression as his sad partner turns towards him." width="905" height="603">
<figcaption>Getty</figcaption><div class='article-cta article_cta  '><div class='article_cta_container'><div role='heading' aria-level='2' class='article_cta_text'>Are you experiencing manipulation in your relationship?</div><div class='embedded-cta-container'><a href='/get-started/' data-cta-count='0' class='btn btn-primary embedded-cta'>Get help from a licensed therapist</a></div></div></div>
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<p dir="ltr">Manipulation can be defined as behavior that seeks to control or sway another person's beliefs, ideas, behavior, or view of reality. Manipulation is not relegated to romantic relationships but can permeate virtually every relationship in existence; friendships, authoritative relationships, familial relationships, parent-child relationships, and more. Authority figures, such as government representatives, can use manipulation, as can teachers and mentors.&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr">In many cases, manipulation can be small and infrequent, such as twisting your words to get your way with a store clerk. Or it can be huge and constant, such as a parent consistently using guilt to get their way with their child. Manipulation can be a form of mental, emotional, and psychological abuse, and can cause harm in unexpected and far-reaching ways. Being aware of&nbsp;<a href="https://www.regain.us/advice/domestic-violence/am-i-being-manipulated-in-my-relationship-17-signs-to-recognize-and-what-to-do-about-it/">signs of manipulation in a relationship</a> can help you avoid living with its consequences.</p>
<h2>How damaging are manipulative relationships?</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Manipulative relationships can be extremely damaging in that they can create a lot of <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/17456916211011963">emotional and mental uncertainty and instability</a>. These kinds of relationships can create trust issues and make you question your reality or sanity. Likewise, manipulation can act as a catalyst for depression and anxiety and can pave an ideal road for other, similar conditions to develop.</p>
<p dir="ltr">People in manipulative relationships usually begin to doubt themselves and might struggle to separate themselves from their&nbsp;<a href="https://www.regain.us/advice/general/what-does-an-emotionally-manipulative-partner-look-like/">emotionally manipulative partner</a>. This can be dangerous because losing a concrete sense of self can foster codependence and make you far more entwined with your abuser than you may have been before. Typically, people getting out of a manipulative relationship need time, distance, and therapy to sort through the damage of manipulation, create healthy boundaries, and move forward.</p>
<h2>Relationships and manipulation: What using looks like</h2>
<p dir="ltr">It can be hard to detect if you are being used, especially if the person who is using you is skilled at it. Using people often starts out small and simple; a boss might come to you, seemingly on edge, and implore you to take a coworker's shift, because there "just isn't anyone else." Or a friend might beg you to stay with them instead of going home and getting some work done, because they need you, and don't have anyone else. Although both of these can be true, they can also both begin to groom you for a series of manipulative behaviors.</p>
<h3 dir="ltr">Guilt</h3>
<p dir="ltr">Manipulation can manifest via <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3598864/">multiple tactics</a>, but guilt is often one of the more common ones. Manipulators often use guilt to make you feel as though you must do or say something specific and to keep you in a relationship you may be eager to leave. Guilt may be borne of desperation or maybe used because it has worked with others in the past. Although guilt may be more commonly used in intimate relationships (close friendships, familial relationships, or partnerships), it can be used in other settings, including school, sales, and work.</p>
<h3 dir="ltr">Gaslighting</h3>
<p dir="ltr">Gaslighting can also be a common form of manipulation, as it twists and controls the way that you think. It may make you question your own beliefs and experiences or lead you to believe your own reality and memories aren&rsquo;t true.&nbsp;</p>
<h3 dir="ltr">Stonewalling or giving the silent treatment</h3>
<p dir="ltr">Finally, the silent treatment may be another type of manipulation commonly used in relationships. The silent treatment occurs when one person in the relationship refuses to speak to the other until the other person gives in to break the silence. The silent treatment can be considered a form of manipulation and abuse because it is controlling behavior that might seek to force someone else's hand. Oftentimes, the silent treatment is used until the person who is being manipulated comes to the manipulator and apologizes or concedes.</p>
<h2>Why do people use and manipulate?</h2>
<figure class="image"><img src="https://dy7glz37jgl0b.cloudfront.net/advice/images/c2d24386adc8d086e40939b03f2089a3-woman-cries-while-sitting-outside-with-her-partner-at-a-cafe_l.jpg" alt="A woman with long gray hair and a pinik sweater holds her hand to her eyes while sitting outside with a woman who has short gray hair and a plaid coat. " width="908" height="605">
<figcaption>Getty/Halfpoint Images</figcaption>
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<p dir="ltr">Being used by someone else is not always a malicious move on their part. Some people may use others without seeming to realize it and use people almost as a matter of course. These people might only seek out connection with their friends when they need something, might only reach out if they are in crisis, or might only invite certain people to go places with them if they cannot find anything else they'd prefer to spend time with. On the surface, it might not seem like such a strange or terrible thing to do, but using other people to assuage your loneliness without consideration of the other person can be form of using someone.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Some people may manipulate because it is the primary mechanism through which they were taught to connect with other people. If you grew up in a household characterized by abuse (including manipulation), it might be the only way you know how to keep up relationships with others.</p>
<h2 dir="ltr">Is manipulation always bad?</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Overall, manipulation can have a very negative connotation and is usually viewed as abusive or inappropriate behavior. This is because any form of control or coercion of someone can be seen as problematic; if someone is pushed to do or say something they do not want to do or say, it may be considered control and manipulation and can quickly grow dangerous.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Despite some arguments to the contrary, most mental health professionals would likely agree that manipulation is, on the whole, a bad thing. Healthy relationships do not usually involve manipulation, nor do healthy mindsets employ this type of control over others. Even if the victim of manipulation seems actually to benefit from the manipulation momentarily, the means of arriving at that benefit can be viewed as unacceptable. There can be plenty of other ways to achieve a goal or form a strong relationship without employing controlling tactics.</p>
<h2>What to do if you're being used or manipulated</h2>
<p>If you are being used or manipulated, the best thing to do may be to get out of the situation. Whether it is your job, your class, your friendship, or your relationship, removing yourself from a manipulative situation or relationship is usually the best option. If your supervisor is behaving in a manipulative way, try to switch to another supervisor. If a friend is manipulating you, request that the two of you take some time apart. Gaining some distance may be one of the best ways to begin healing, as it can open your eyes to some of the more difficult-to-recognize patterns you've been exposed to.</p>
<figure class="image"><img src="https://dy7glz37jgl0b.cloudfront.net/advice/images/regain/554d1b6b61986d441e91f7f632cc94ca-sad-man-holds-mug_l.jpg" alt="A man in an orange shirt sits sadly on the couch with his partner and gazes down into his cup of coffee." width="913" height="616">
<figcaption>Caption</figcaption><div class='article-cta article_cta  '><div class='article_cta_container'><div role='heading' aria-level='2' class='article_cta_text'>Are you experiencing manipulation in your relationship?</div><div class='embedded-cta-container'><a href='/get-started/' data-cta-count='2' class='btn btn-primary embedded-cta'>Get help from a licensed therapist</a></div></div></div>
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<p dir="ltr">If getting away from the situation is not possible, seeking help from a therapist can be a wonderful next step. A therapist can help you assess your situation and create a series of steps to either limit the effects of manipulation or get out of the situation altogether. Therapists can help you set healthy boundaries, identify any patterns of behavior that are inappropriate from your user, and identify methods you can employ to minimize your exposure to manipulation. These can include talking and engagement methods, as many manipulators and users feed off of the reactions of their targets.</p>
<h2>Getting help for relationships and manipulation</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Manipulation can, unfortunately, be common in virtually every type of human interaction there is. Although this can be disheartening, there are some ways you can minimize your exposure to manipulative behavior and create healthy coping and communication methods to use in response.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Speaking to a professional via <a href="about:blank">online therapy</a> can be an especially easy way to build skills to combat manipulation, all from the comfort of your own home. When you work with an online therapist, you can avoid costly commutes to and from in-person offices. You can join your sessions from anywhere you can find an internet connection.</p>
<p dir="ltr">An online format may also make it more likely that you&rsquo;ll feel able to open up to and connect with your therapist. One <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02992/full">recent study</a> suggests that many people feel their ability to connect with and trust their therapist is enhanced by the distance an online platform can create. In other words, many clients feel more comfortable sharing more, perhaps including details about manipulation, with their therapists when they meet via the web.</p>
<h2 dir="ltr">Takeaway</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Manipulation can be thought of as any behavior that attempts to control or scare a person into acting a certain way. It may be present in relationships that are toxic or abusive. Setting boundaries, limiting communication methods, and standing firm in your beliefs and experiences can help avoid the effects of manipulation, as can creating a strong, firm support system.</p>
<p dir="ltr">&nbsp;</p>
</div>

Are you experiencing manipulation in your relationship?

If you feel like you are used for your company, resources, or partnership, you may be experiencing manipulation. It can be hard to spot manipulative behavior for what it is, but with some practice, you can learn to identify and react appropriately to it. Read on to learn more.

Relationships And Manipulation: Am I Being Used? | Regain

Relationships, whether they’re familial, platonic, or romantic, can often be considered the bedrock of being a human. We are, to some degree, set apart from other mammals and...

Relationships And Manipulation: Am I Being Used?

<p dir="ltr">The APA defines&nbsp;<a href="https://dictionary.apa.org/manipulation">manipulation</a> as "behavior designed to exploit, control, or otherwise influence others to one's advantage." Emotional manipulation is a specific form of manipulation that refers to manipulating others by targeting people's emotions.&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr">If you are manipulated emotionally, the most important thing to remember is that it is not your fault. When someone manipulates another&rsquo;s emotions, they may be doing it for several reasons - to gain control, to get what they want, or to avoid responsibility for their actions, for example. Emotional manipulators are usually very skilled at disguising their behaviors. Sometimes, they may hide it under the guise of care or concern. An emotional manipulator might manipulate another person by making them believe they aren't capable or cannot trust themselves.&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr">The ability to identify manipulation can help you avoid it or, at the very least, recognize it so that you can reduce the damage it causes. Below, you&rsquo;ll find some common tactics that manipulators use to get what they want from their partners-- and what you can do to get help in an emotionally abusive relationship.</p>
<figure class="image"><img src="https://dy7glz37jgl0b.cloudfront.net/advice/images/3888fff2403ef88711369f831050b77f-man-in-yellow-shirt-stressed-on-couch_l.jpg" alt="A man in a yellow shirt looks upset while sitting on the couch in his living room" width="900" height="600">
<figcaption>Rawpixel</figcaption><div class='article-cta article_cta  '><div class='article_cta_container'><div role='heading' aria-level='2' class='article_cta_text'>Emotional manipulation can be psychologically damaging</div><div class='embedded-cta-container'><a href='/get-started/' data-cta-count='0' class='btn btn-primary embedded-cta'>An online therapist can help you heal  </a></div></div></div>
</figure>
<h2 dir="ltr">1. Refusal to accept responsibility</h2>
<p dir="ltr">An emotional abuser will typically refuse to take responsibility for their actions or anything that their actions cause others to do or feel. Instead, they will turn the blame around to their partner or someone else. For example, they might claim to have been fired because their boss is unfair or doesn&rsquo;t know what they&rsquo;re doing. If their partner feels disrespected, a manipulator may argue that it&rsquo;s because their partner disrespected them first. Regardless of what happens around them, a manipulator usually knows how to make it sound like they are the victim and make anyone else feel guilty.</p>
<h2 dir="ltr">2. Deny their own statements</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Someone who is emotionally manipulative may make statements, comments, or even promises, and yet when they're &ldquo;called out&rdquo; on those things, they deny that they ever did in the first place. They can manipulate what others say to make it look like they&rsquo;re lying, mistaken, or don&rsquo;t remember what happened correctly. They can be so convincing that a manipulator may eventually deceive their partner into believing that they are the wrong one.&nbsp;</p>
<h2 dir="ltr">3. They know how to exert guilt trips to their advantage</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Guilt-tripping is a prominent skill of most emotional manipulators. They often know how to make their partner (or anyone else around them) feel bad about what they&rsquo;ve said, done, or felt. They know how to paint themselves as the victim and make everyone else feel like they've done something wrong. When they do this, it's almost always to achieve some goal or benefit for themselves. When guilt-tripping is taken to more extreme levels, the target of the abuse is suddenly turned into &ldquo;the villain&rdquo; so convincingly that everyone&mdash;friends, family, coworkers&mdash;believes it.</p>
<h2 dir="ltr">4. They reduce your problems to overreactions</h2>
<p dir="ltr">When the target of an emotional manipulator attempts to voice their feelings or draw attention to their behaviors, the manipulator may insist that they&rsquo;re overreacting and that the behavior isn&rsquo;t relevant. For example, a manipulator may say something cruel to their partner, then tell them they should &ldquo;learn to take a joke&rdquo; when it&rsquo;s addressed. This not only casts doubt on the target&rsquo;s judgment, but it can also be humiliating in front of others when it makes them look like a fool, or they have no sense of humor. This form of emotional manipulation is sometimes called &ldquo;trivializing&rdquo; and is a common tactic used in <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/resources/what-is-gaslighting/">gaslighting.</a>&nbsp;<strong id="docs-internal-guid-4846852c-7fff-b8b7-3310-fe8157ead6b4"></strong></p>
<p><img src="https://advice.cdn.betterhelp.com/md/10-emotional-manipulation-signs-to-watch-out-for-when-youre-in-a-relationship-2_.jpg.jpg" alt="" width="901" height="600"></p>
<h2 dir="ltr">5. They use passive-aggressive behavior to get their way</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Passive aggressive behavior is another sign of emotional manipulation. A manipulator may make comments, jokes, and other types of statements in such a way as to convey a thinly veiled threat from those around them. Yet, the comments are still said in a way where the emotional abuser can use plausible deniability. They can pretend that they didn't mean anything by the comment, weren&rsquo;t being serious, or that other people are just taking it the wrong way.&nbsp;</p>
<h2 dir="ltr">6. They intimidate others with aggressive behavior and anger</h2>
<p dir="ltr">If a manipulator can't use passive aggression to get their way, they may use outright aggressive behavior. These can include angry outbursts, shouting, and even full-blown &ldquo;tantrums.&rdquo; They may threaten violence or act aggressively to get others to obey and comply with their wishes. This type of behavior is meant to intimidate, and while it's overt, it often occurs after so much other manipulation that the target still feels as though they are somehow in the wrong.&nbsp;</p>
<h2 dir="ltr">7. They prey on the insecure and the trusting</h2>
<p dir="ltr">An emotional manipulator sometimes looks for people who&rsquo;ve been in abusive relationships in the past or were raised in abusive households assuming that they&rsquo;re insecure or overly trusting. They look for people who will likely give them multiple chances and then use that benefit of the doubt to exploit them.&nbsp;</p>
<h2 dir="ltr">8. They act one way and speak another</h2>
<p dir="ltr">An emotional manipulator may say all the right things, then walk away when it&rsquo;s time to put their words into action. For example, making promises, then backing out, or pretending to be encouraging and supportive of their partner, yet sabotaging their success. This allows the emotional manipulator to flaunt their abilities&mdash;especially if they can upstage their target.&nbsp;</p>
<h2 dir="ltr">9. They jump into relationships too quickly&nbsp;</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Manipulators often jump quickly into a relationship and coerce their target to follow suit. The reasons for this are typically twofold: to disorient them so they don&rsquo;t have time to think about what&rsquo;s really happening and to determine if the target of their abuse is likely to go along with it because they want the companionship so much that they&rsquo;re willing to overlook the red flags. It&rsquo;s an excellent tactic for a manipulator to trap someone into a relationship they may not have willingly entered if they had more time to think about it clearly.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr">&ldquo;<a href="https://health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing/#:~:text=Love%20bombing%20is%20a%20form,Excessive%20flattery%20and%20praise.">Love bombing</a>&rdquo; is a common concept associated with this type of emotional manipulation. A love bomber will push the relationship forward too quickly but also gives excessive compliments, over-the-top gifts, and affection to make their targets feel dependent and indebted.&nbsp;</p>
<figure class="image"><img src="https://dy7glz37jgl0b.cloudfront.net/advice/images/a92d4c51a2e5cd948312cf1d86e61e40-girl-in-green-hand-up_l.jpg" alt="A girl in a green shirt waves at her laptop screen while sitting at a table during a video call" width="900" height="600">
<figcaption>Getty/Vadym Pastukh</figcaption><div class='article-cta article_cta  '><div class='article_cta_container'><div role='heading' aria-level='2' class='article_cta_text'>Emotional manipulation can be psychologically damaging</div><div class='embedded-cta-container'><a href='/get-started/' data-cta-count='2' class='btn btn-primary embedded-cta'>An online therapist can help you heal  </a></div></div></div>
</figure>
<h2 dir="ltr">Build skills to protect yourself from manipulation in online therapy</h2>
<p dir="ltr">If you are in a relationship with a manipulator, understand you&rsquo;re not alone. <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/nazbeheshti/2020/05/15/an-average-of-80-of-americans-have-experienced-emotional-abuse/?sh=777ac1137b49">Research suggests</a> that up to 80% of Americans have experienced emotional abuse like manipulation at some point. Typically, emotional manipulators know what they&rsquo;re doing every step of the way during a relationship. Still, it&rsquo;s important to recognize that some people use these tactics to get what they want from a partner without realizing it. In either case, if emotional abuse is left unaddressed, it can cause lasting emotional and psychological damage.&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr">If you&rsquo;re in an emotionally abusive relationship, it&rsquo;s critical to get help from a mental health professional. A therapist can help you identify and understand the forms that emotional manipulation takes and develop coping skills to help you heal and move on. Suppose you&rsquo;ve determined that your behavior is emotionally manipulative to others and would like to change. In that case, a therapist can give you the tools to implement real and lasting change in your behavior until you&rsquo;re ready to participate safely in a relationship.&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr">With the rise of online therapy, more people than ever have a convenient and affordable treatment. Platforms like <a href="https://www.regain.us/get-started/">Regain</a> match couples and individuals with licensed, experienced therapists who specialize in helping people overcome abuse and move forward healthily. You can book appointments with a Regain therapist when it&rsquo;s convenient for your schedule and attend appointments anywhere with a reliable internet connection. You can speak to your counselor via text, phone, online chat, and video chat.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Online therapy is as effective as traditional therapy for a wide variety of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and trauma. A growing body of research also indicates that counseling for couples is as effective. For example, a <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6985577/">recent review</a> published in the National Library of Medicine reported that couples in teletherapy felt a greater sense of ease and control over their experience. The participants &ldquo;found the experience to be positive and engaging, in spite of, and in many cases because of, connecting with the therapist through a computer screen.&rdquo;</p>
<h2 dir="ltr">Takeaway</h2>
<p dir="ltr">Abuse of any kind is unacceptable and should be addressed immediately. But it can be challenging to recognize the abuse and take action in cases of emotional manipulation. Contacting a mental health professional through Regain is the first step toward moving forward.&nbsp;</p>
<p dir="ltr">&nbsp;</p>

Emotional manipulation can be psychologically damaging

Emotional manipulation is a form of abuse that creates an imbalance of control in relationships and causes psychological damage to the target of the abuse. Not everyone recognizes manipulative behavior, but learning the warning signs and getting help are the first steps toward healing. 

Nine Emotional Manipulation Signs To Watch Out For When You’re In A Relationship | Regain

<p><strong>Frequently asked questions (FAQs)&nbsp;</strong></p>
<h2><strong>What is emotionally manipulative?</strong></h2>
<p>There are a number of things that are considered emotionally manipulative or signs of manipulation. Gaslighting, stonewalling, lying, changing the subject, or deflecting your concerns when you bring up an important issue, and emotional blackmail are all forms of emotional manipulation. An emotional manipulator may also prey on your insecurities and turn their bad behavior around on you to feel that everything is your fault. The very nature of psychological and emotional manipulation is that emotional manipulators or people who manipulate others will manipulate you not to identify manipulation. To identify manipulation, it's important to know the signs and listen to your gut. As much as you don't want to believe that a particular person could be an emotional manipulator, recognize the signs of psychological and emotional manipulation for what they are. See an emotional manipulator's actions above all else. A very common tactic used by emotional manipulators or an emotionally manipulative person is <a href="https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/love-bomb">love bombing</a>&nbsp;when someone bombards you with excessive affection. Often, this is so that you think of the good times and think to yourself, "it's not all bad," causing you to stick around. Someone may also use love bombing to deflect from their poor behavior; if they shower you with affection, you'll think, "wow, they're really into me," instead of seeing the warning signs that might be there. Especially if this is a new relationship and someone engages in excessive, overwhelming, intense displays of affection too soon, this is a big red flag.</p>
<h2><strong>What are examples of emotional manipulation?</strong></h2>
<p>The APA defines <a href="https://dictionary.apa.org/manipulation">manipulation</a> as "behavior designed to exploit, control, or otherwise influence others to one's advantage." Emotional manipulation is a specific form of manipulation that refers to manipulating others by targeting people's emotions. When someone manipulates people's emotions, they may be doing it for a number of reasons - to gain control, to get what they want, or to avoid responsibility for their actions - but it is never okay. Being able to identify manipulation can help you avoid it, or at the very least, recognize it so that you can reduce the harm done by emotional manipulation. If you are manipulated emotionally, you did not sign up to receive emotional manipulation, and it is not your fault. Emotional manipulators or people who manipulate others are often very good at what they do. At times, they may hide it under the guise of care or concern. An emotional manipulator might manipulate another person by making them believe that they aren't capable or cannot trust themselves. If you're searching for "manipulation signs," "how to recognize emotional manipulators," or "mental and emotional manipulation signs," you can read about the signs of psychological and emotional manipulation below.</p>
<h2><strong>What are signs of manipulation?</strong></h2>
<p>Signs of manipulation to look out for include:</p>
<ul>
<li>Gaslighting (making you question your reality).</li>
<li>Deflecting blame (making you feel as though "it's all your fault" or that "if you were different, the relationship would be better.")</li>
<li>Stonewalling (giving you the silent treatment).</li>
<li>Emotional blackmail (when someone uses fear, obligation, and guilt to get what they want).</li>
<li>Withholding affection (this may go along with emotional blackmail).</li>
<li>Love bombing (showering you with excessive affection and praise, often distracting from red flags or other abusive and manipulative behaviors).</li>
</ul>
<p>If you see the signs of manipulation in your relationship or think that you may be encountering psychological or emotional manipulation, listen to your gut. Unfortunately, mental and emotional manipulation is not uncommon, and it is something that many people encounter. The psychological impact of emotional manipulation is genuine, and if you've faced it, you're not alone.</p>
<h2><strong>What are examples of manipulation?</strong></h2>
<p>After reading the signs of manipulation above, you may wonder what exactly they look like. Here are some examples of psychological and emotional manipulation:</p>
<ul>
<li>Emotional blackmail. You have to do this for me."</li>
<li>Deflecting blame. Say that a partner yells at you and calls you names, and when you say, "I don't like it when you call me that name" or express concerns about the name-calling and raising of their voice, they say, "I wouldn't have to do that if you weren't dumb/if you weren't like this/if you listened to me/etc." Emotional manipulators do this so that they don't have to take responsibility. The emotional manipulator can instead turn the blame to you so that their behavior is never addressed.</li>
<li>Let's say that you take care of all of the bills or household chores. Alternatively, let's say that you said "no" to a sexual act that makes you feel very uncomfortable. An example of stonewalling would be that your partner gives you the silent treatment, refuses to talk about the topic, or gets angry and walks away when you bring up the proposal that they help with the bills and chores or say "no" to said sexual act. They're doing this so that you stop bringing up your concerns or stop saying "no" so that you do not have to face the silent treatment or anger again and will instead do what they want or treat you the way they want without discourse or discussion.</li>
</ul>
<h3><strong>Is gaslighting emotional abuse?</strong></h3>
<p>Gaslighting is indeed an emotional abuse tactic, and it is not something to ignore. The <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/resources/what-is-gaslighting/">Hotline</a> website defines and explains the origin of the term "gaslighting" by saying, <em>"This term comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights (which were powered by gas) in their home, and then he denies that the light changed when his wife points it out. It is an extremely effective form of emotional abuse that causes a victim to question their own feelings, instincts, and sanity, which gives the abusive partner a lot of power (and we know that abuse is about power and control). Once an abusive partner has broken down the victim's ability to trust their own perceptions, the victim is more likely to stay in the abusive relationship." </em>Gaslighting is a common tactic among emotional manipulators or people who manipulate others, and it is a form of manipulation that essentially makes you question your own knowledge of reality. You are not to blame, and in any case, you didn't sign up to receive this treatment and emotional abuse. When it comes to manipulation is the fault of the person who engages in mental and emotional manipulation or abuse alone. If you've survived emotional abuse, have left a relationship with a manipulative person, or want to talk about signs of manipulation with a professional, don't be afraid to reach out for the support of a therapist or counselor.</p>
<h3><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{" is="">What is the impact of emotional manipulation on your mental health?</span></h3>
<h3><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{" is="">How would you know that you are with someone who is emotionally manipulative?</span></h3>
<h3><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{" is="">What are the four phases of manipulation?</span></h3>
<h3><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{" is="">What are manipulators scared of?</span></h3>
<h3><span data-sheets-value="{" data-sheets-userformat="{" is="">Can you possibly outwit a manipulator? How?</span></h3>
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The APA defines manipulation as "behavior designed to exploit, control, or otherwise influence others to one's advantage." Emotional manipulation is a specific form of manipulation...

Nine Emotional Manipulation Signs To Watch Out For When You’re In A Relationship

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