Everything You Need To Know About Foster Parenting
Foster parenting is an inherently complex subject. There are many layers and facets involving the pros and cons of fostering. Individuals who choose to become foster parents do so for various reasons. However, regardless of whether or not an individual or family is looking into fostering, understanding all that it entails can certainly come in handy. Children who are placed in the custody of unsuitable foster parents end up worse off. Fostering impacts many lives, whether the majority of people realize it or not.
Understanding the ins and outs of foster parenting
As affirmed by the National Foster Parenting Association, there are certainly some paramount ins and outs of fostering that interested individuals need to be aware of. Which foster parent or foster family that a child ends up with, even temporarily, can greatly impact their quality of life and worldview. Each foster parent must do their best to their foster children and ensure that they are in it for the right reason.
Ultimately, the only right reason to pursue fostering is to better the child's lives or the children at hand. Many children who end up in the foster care system are there due to losing their parents or being born into unfit families to care for children. These children have also likely experienced things that some individuals cannot begin to imagine. Therefore, foster parents owe it to the children they have voluntarily chosen to care for to ensure that each foster child who comes into their home feels safe, comfortable, and loved.
Even the best of foster parents will encounter some challenges or pushback. Sometimes, foster children can be difficult to handle or deal with. Initially, they may not trust the latest people who are caring for them. This is especially applicable to children who have been entrusted to multiple foster families in relatively short periods of time.
Like any other child, foster children get sick, feel restless or angry, or have the issues they are dealing with. Being a foster parent is a full-time job that requires so much time and energy. This is precisely why every foster parent should have mastered certain skills and strengths before caring for children.
Critical skills for foster parenting
Official qualifications and requirements for fostering vary from state to state. The parents have to pass a background check, and certain officials will have to inspect and observe the quality and state of the home before allowing the foster parents to acquire custody of the children. However, background checks coupled with the quality of one's home are only the tip of the iceberg regarding the skills and strengths needed to care for foster children.
Communication skills
According to The Spruce, the ability to communicate with others is one of the most paramount skills for any foster parent to have. Not only will they need to communicate with the children in their care appropriately, but they will also need to effectively communicate with social workers, therapists, judges, and perhaps even the biological family of the foster children. Communication is needed in virtually all aspects of an individual's life, but it is especially critical for foster parents.
Childcare skills
Next, as previously stated, comes the ability to handle challenging foster children. Many of these young people have been victims of neglect and abuse in one form or another. As unfortunate as this may be, a child's past negative experiences can greatly impact others' views and perceptions. Foster parents may believe they are equipped to handle difficult children, but true mastery of such is a skill in and of itself. There are certain guidelines to be followed and various behaviors that are simply unacceptable.
Physical punishments are one of the prohibited behaviors. Not only can this trigger past unpleasant experiences for foster children, but it can also worsen already bad behavior. This is not mutually exclusive to spanking, which is a common yet controversial form of punishment.
Under no circumstances should foster parents spank the children they are caring for, nor should they withhold meals, order children to do exercises, or enforce other forms of physically impactful forms of punishment. Caring for foster children is different from caring for children or children who have not been in the foster care system. This is a sad yet very accurate reality that every foster parent needs to be aware of.
Interpersonal skills
Not only should foster parents pass basic background checks, pass home inspections, handle challenging children, and understand what constitutes appropriate punishments, but foster parents should also know how to work with others. Fostering involves much more than appropriate child care. Individuals who choose to care for foster children will also have to interact with social workers, various professionals, and even the foster children's biological families. These are things that all foster parents should be prepared for at any given time.
Different types of foster parenting
When most people think of fostering, thoughts of children coming to stay with new people for extended periods of time come to mind. However, as stated by Adopt U.S. Children, there are many existing variations of fostering that everyone should be aware of, especially if they consider or attempt to become foster parents.
Respite care
Each variation of foster care requires unique training. In most cases, the foster parents do become the temporary or permanent guardians of children. However, this is not always the case. For instance, respite care foster parents care for foster children for short spans of time while the "regular" foster parents can take a break. Fostering can be quite exhausting, and sometimes, people require a recess from it.
Treatment/therapeutic foster parenting
Next comes treatment/therapeutic foster care parents. These people step in and help care for children who are especially in need of care. Children who suffer from extreme social problems, behavioral problems, or even mental health ailments are most likely to need treatment/therapeutic foster parenting. This form of foster care certainly requires unique training considering the children's nature that this type of foster parents will be dealing with. Treatment/therapeutic fostering is arguably the most challenging and exhausting type of foster care.
Kinship foster parenting
Kinship foster parenting occurs when biological relatives of the foster children step in and behave as caregivers. This arrangement can occur with or without legalities. Many people may not consider kinship care as a form of fostering, but legally, it does fall into the category of fostering.
Emergency/urgent foster parenting
Although somewhat similar to kinship foster parenting, emergency/urgent fostering happens in cases of extreme emergencies. Usually, these types of foster children need immediate care, be it overnight or during weekends. More often than not, emergency/urgent care is one of the shortest types of fostering.
Foster-to-adopt foster parenting
Last but certainly not least on the list of different types of fostering comes foster-to-adopt care. As the name suggests, foster-to-adopt parents foster children with the hopes or intentions of actually adopting them and making them part of the family. Many individuals have made the case that this form of foster care is most beneficial for children for various reasons.
First and foremost, the obvious advantage of children not having to constantly be uprooted and go from one foster home to the next. Foster children who are eventually adopted are also allowed to get to know their new family, bond with them, and enjoy being children. Adopt U.S. Kids furthermore states that more and more American states are promoting this version of foster care.
Additional support for becoming foster parents
Many people enter fostering with the best intentions; however, without the proper understanding, skills, and overall knowledge, the results can be disastrous. A firm comprehension of the process, forms, and uncertainties that inherently come with fostering is important.
A pleasant experience with a foster family can make an amazing difference in a child's life, whereas an unpleasant experience can leave scars and wounds that last a lifetime. People need to make sure they are 100% equipped for the ups and downs that come with fostering before seriously pursuing it. Many individuals and families take months or even years to think about whether they are truly ready to become foster parents.
Sometimes sitting down with a licensed professional can be one of the best ways to self-evaluate and determine whether or not fostering is the best decision for you. Despite the unfortunate stigma associated with counseling and therapy, there is nothing wrong with seeking professional assistance.
Takeaway
Here at Regain, we pride ourselves on providing the best quality of professional care and guidance. This can be especially helpful for prospective foster parents and active foster parents who may be going through certain struggles or difficulties. Regardless of whether you are a foster parent or thinking of becoming a foster parent, you need to know that Regain will always be here for you. Ultimately, the decision is yours, but if you ever feel inclined to contact Regain for any reason, you can do so by clicking here.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
How much do foster parents get paid monthly?
In the United States, the amount of money that foster parents get paid each month for foster care can vary quite a bit. Missouri has the lowest monthly foster care reimbursements, around $300 to $400 per month. Nebraska has the highest rate, ranging from $818 to $1079 per month. If you’re considering becoming a foster parent for the extra cash, it’s important to realize that the amount foster parents are paid often isn’t even enough to cover all of the child’s expenses. Many times, when foster care providers first enter foster care, they’re taken aback by just how expensive it is to care for children in foster care.
If you want to adopt foster children rather than keeping them in foster care, there are some government programs in place that may provide adoptive parents and families with financial aid. To adopt foster children, you must first be a successful foster parent. Adoption brings up the possibility of issues with birth parents as well, so be prepared to handle any conflicts in that area. It is rare for birth parents to contribute financially or otherwise to their children in foster care. The choice to adopt foster children can be difficult, but it can also be a rewarding and fulfilling experience.
There are also different types of foster care that you can consider before taking on a foster child's responsibility. Take a look at the article above for more detailed information regarding the different kinds of foster care. Foster care, foster children, and foster parents all work together to make the experience the best it can be.
How much do foster parents get for a child?
On average, foster parents receive about $1 per hour, or $20 to $25 each day. This stipend for family foster care isn’t meant to cover all the foster parent’s costs of raising children in foster care; instead, it is intended to offset the costs. This is one of the reasons why foster parents need to be financially stable. A successful foster parent has the financial means to cover the expenses of children in foster care.
If you’re planning to adopt foster children, you will also receive financial assistance from the state. The specific amount you’ll receive as adoptive parents varies depending on where you live, but generally, it is similar to the amount you receive as a successful foster parent. Parenting foster children and choosing to adopt foster children can be very difficult in some ways, but it is also extremely rewarding.
Do foster parents make good money?
It’s important to realize that foster parents aren’t actually paid. Instead, they are reimbursed a set amount depending on the state they’re fostering in. This monthly stipend is meant to offset the cost of raising a foster child, not to cover the cost entirely. In some states, a yearly clothing stipend of a few hundred dollars is also given to foster parents. But when all is said and done, foster parents do not make any money from fostering; oftentimes, they must pay out of pocket to cover all of the expenses that come up while caring for children in foster care. The birth parents of children in foster care are not expected to contribute anything, financially or otherwise.
It’s also important to note that you will still receive some government assistance if you decide to adopt foster children. Choosing to adopt foster children is a big decision, but many foster families decide to adopt foster children after caring for them for an extended period of time. However, you can still be a successful foster parent whether you adopt foster children or not.
- Why do foster parents quit?
It’s common for foster parents or foster families to quit due to unrealistic expectations, a lack of support, and a lack of training. Foster parenting is a very difficult job, and although many foster families have the best of intentions when they enter foster care, it is not a job that’s ideal for everyone. Oftentimes, foster parents and foster families have to make the difficult decision to quit when they aren’t making enough money to cover all of the costs of caring for foster children.
Sometimes, unrealistic expectations are placed on children in foster care. It is important not to compare foster children with your biological children because children in foster care have often experienced abuse and mistreatment, either from their birth parents or other foster care providers. Parenting foster children is simply different from parenting biological children because of their different backgrounds. However, in your family, foster children should be treated just the same as biological children.
A lack of support, either financial or emotional, can also make it difficult for foster care providers to care for foster children to the best of their ability, leading to quitting. General foster care, foster care reimbursements, and issues with birth parents can all be very stressful. It’s important to have a foster care support system in place to help you handle the emotional toll that can result from caring for foster children.
There are multiple types of foster care, so be sure to look into them and decide which would be the best fit to lessen the chance of quitting. The article above has some great explanations of the many different foster care types and all they entail. Families foster children in different ways, but all of them are important to the foster care system. For example, there is respite foster care, foster treatment or therapeutic foster care, kinship care, emergency care, and foster-to-adopt care. Identifying the type of family foster care that is ideal for your situation can reduce the chance you’ll quit.
- What disqualifies you from becoming a foster parent?
If you have a criminal background, especially with domestic abuse charges, you will likely be disqualified from becoming a foster parent. In addition, if your home is not considered large enough to house a foster child comfortably, you will be disqualified. If your income isn’t sufficient, you will also be disqualified. Without sufficient funds, it is impossible to be a successful foster parent. Although a foster parent’s monthly stipends will help financially, you should not have to rely on these to care for a foster child.
In general, to enter foster care as a foster parent, you must be at least 21 years old and have a sufficient regular income source. You must also pass a background check, have an open bedroom for a foster child, go through an assessment of all families in the home, and attend foster parent training sessions in your area. You must also be prepared to handle any issues that come up with the foster child’s birth parents. For example, you may need to provide transportation to and from the birth parents' house if they have visitation rights.
- Is fostering a child expensive?
Fostering a child can be extremely expensive. It depends on what a child has when they come to your home, but oftentimes they have only the clothes on their back. In a situation like this, making a monthly stipend and yearly clothing reimbursement for a few hundred dollars cover all expenses is simply impossible. If you plan to be a foster parent, be ready to cover many expenses out of pocket. If you want to adopt foster children, it’s important to be prepared for adoption costs. Becoming adoptive parents can be very rewarding when there is to sufficient resources. Be aware that you may need to handle some conflicts with birth parents if you plan to adopt foster children.
Depending on the state you live in, you will be provided with a set of foster parent resources that may offset some of the foster care costs. For example, you may receive food stamps, Medicaid, and childcare subsidies. Be sure to research the state you live in to find out exactly what the government will provide for you as a foster parent.
- Can you foster if you're in debt?
Being in debt will not automatically disqualify you from becoming a foster parent as long as you can prove that you’re in a financial state where you can adequately provide for a foster child. However, debt and bankruptcy can indicate to the government that you’re not financially prepared to take on the responsibility of caring for a foster child. Whether or not your debt will disqualify you are decided on a case-by-case basis.
However, if you’re hoping to get out of debt through the monthly reimbursements foster families receive, you should reconsider because foster families make little to no money from foster care. Families foster children because they want to care for them and make their lives better, not because of their reimbursements. To be a successful foster parent, it’s important to have the right intentions.
How long do most foster parents keep a child?
What's the youngest age of a foster child?
What are the pros and cons of foster care?
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