Why Do I Feel Empty Inside, Even Though I’m In A Relationship?

Updated April 9, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

You always thought that being in a romantic relationship would make you feel like you were on top of the world. So you may be surprised that you don’t feel much of anything at all right now. It’s worrisome when you feel empty inside despite being in a relationship with someone that seems like they should be a good match. What’s wrong with your current situation, and why do you feel emotional numbness?

Why do I feel like I’m empty inside?

Getty/AnnaStills
Are you in a relationship but still feel empty?

Trying to figure out why you feel this way is going to take a bit of introspection. Not everyone is going to have these empty feelings for the same reasons. To get to the bottom of this situation, it may be necessary to figure out a few things about yourself. Look at some of the possible reasons why you might feel empty below. Reading through some potential causes might help you to figure out what is going on in your life.

Traumatic events

Many people feel like they’re empty inside when they’ve experienced some traumatic event. Has anything bad happened in your life that may be causing you to feel numb in your adult life? Traumatic incidents may have occurred in childhood, their effects lingering even as you have grown up. Trauma may also happen during a season of loss, whether death, divorce, career change, or other forms of losing something. Traumatic events can leave you feeling numb to the world, which can carry over into your relationships.

There are many types of traumatic events that can make you feel empty inside. People who have been abused in some way often experience feelings like this. Consider whether some traumatic event is causing you to feel this emptiness. If this is the case, then your relationship isn’t to blame for what is going on. You might consider treatment from professionals to overcome what you’re truly going through.

Depression

Mental health issues like clinical depression are another common reason why people feel chronic emptiness. Depression can be caused by a variety of factors, including grief, drug abuse, and genetics. When you’re going through a bout of depression, you may not be able to feel anything at all. This sort of numbness or boredom can be very disconcerting. You might wonder whether you’ll ever be able to feel happy again.

There are many different signs of depression that you should look out for. One of the most common depression symptoms is losing interest in activities that you used to love. With this kind of depression, you may lose interest in spending time with your partner. You might be in such a bad place mentally that you feel numb inside, and you may begin to have negative thinking about your relationship or life.

Depression is a mental health condition. It is not just a mood or feeling. Often, depression requires treatment, especially for those who experience a major depressive disorder, substance abuse, or suicidal ideation. 

If you or someone you love is experiencing suicidal thoughts, it’s important to seek help right away. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available to provide emotional support and other mental health resources 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

Symptoms of anxiety may also accompany depression. You may be able to combat feelings of depression or anxiety with professional help by attending therapy to address the root causes of your mental health concerns. If you suspect that you might be depressed in some way, then you should speak with your doctor to receive a proper diagnosis and treatment plan.

One key way to address depression is through talk therapy. Talk therapy is a form of psychotherapy treatment that helps people find the roots of psychological issues. People in this kind of therapy form a healthy, communicative relationship with their mental health care provider. This helps them overcome mental and emotional challenges and can ease the symptoms of depression. 

Along with therapy, your doctor may prescribe anti-depressant drugs such as Prozac or Lithium as part of your treatment plan.

Stress from a demanding job

Sometimes we experience stress due to a demanding or new job. Whatever the case, when we wrap ourselves up in our work, this can negatively affect our sense of physical or mental well-being. The stress we feel may end up affecting our emotions—it can be harder to experience joy, and we may be more prone to sadness. It can also cause us to become disconnected from our friends and family.

This stress can even lead to depression if left unchecked or could lead to substance use disorders in the form of drugs or alcohol taken in order to cope. It’s important not to neglect self-care, even when it comes to important things like work and career.

Problems with your relationship

It’s also possible that you feel unhappy because of problems in your relationship. This might be causing you to think "I don't feel anything for my partner." Not all relationships are going to be smooth sailing—in fact, even the most loving relationships feature occasional conflict. It’s normal to have temporary feelings of unhappiness at times, especially when there are stressful life events or big changes in your life or relationship. Some couples are more prone to bickering or arguing, which can lead to dissatisfaction.

If you have significant relationship problems, then this could be causing you to feel empty inside. You might feel numb and unfulfilled by the relationship. When this is the case, it’s going to be difficult to continue going on. Sometimes, relationship issues can be overcome if both people want to work on things. If you feel like you love your partner, you can try to fix the problems that might be holding you back.

You feel like your partner isn’t right for you

Have you wondered whether your current partner is right for you? Perhaps your feelings can be associated with your doubts about the relationship. Not all relationships are permanent. Maybe you are only dating because you don’t like the idea of being alone. If you jumped into your current relationship without really determining whether it was a good match, this could lead to uncertainty down the road.

If you aren’t compatible with your partner, then you might not see a future together. When you know that something isn’t going to work out long-term, it can make you feel uneasy. You might be simply waiting for the relationship to end due to not having confidence that your relationship was ever a good idea. Understand that this might not be the cause of your empty feelings. It is simply one possibility to consider.

Not spending enough time together

Perhaps you just aren’t spending enough time with your partner. Do you both work a lot? One common cause of relationship problems is being overworked. If you work long hours, you might not have the most fulfilling love life due to being too tired to connect once you get home.

It’s important to try your best to make the most of the time that you do have together. If you can, schedule more time with one another. Even spending a little bit of time together every evening is going to be helpful when you’re trying to strengthen your bond. If your feelings of emptiness seem to fade away when you’re enjoying your partner’s presence, you may have found the source of your issue.

You need more passion

Have you and your partner been spending enough time together romantically? If not, then you might be longing for a passionate connection. This can relate to not spending enough time together. If you don’t have a lot of time, you likely cannot focus on romance very much either.

You could attempt to reignite your passion for one another by making a concerted effort to be more romantic. It might even be good to try to improve your sex life in certain ways. Sometimes making adjustments like this can lead to a more fulfilling relationship. If you haven’t been connecting intimately lately, this could cause those feelings of emptiness.

What if you feel empty even when your partner is there?

If you feel empty even when your partner is very present in your life, that could indicate a deeper issue. You might suspect that this relationship isn’t a good fit for you or experience self-doubt. It’s important not to jump to conclusions. As mentioned above, depression is one common cause of feelings of emptiness. The way you feel inside might not have anything to do with your partner or your relationship.

Knowing this, it’s important to try to figure out what is going on. Be honest with yourself and search for your feelings. It might help to talk about the way that you’re feeling with someone. If you don’t want to discuss what is going on with your significant other, you could talk with a close friend instead. It’s just important to address what is happening rather than choosing to ignore it.

You might even want to decide to reach out for professional help. Talking with your doctor or a counselor might be very beneficial. If you are feeling depressed in some way, then you can develop a treatment plan. You may figure out why you’re feeling so empty inside if you’re willing to confront the situation.

Attend online couples counseling

Getty/AnnaStills
Are you in a relationship but still feel empty?

If you’re committed to making your relationship work and you want to get rid of the empty feeling inside you, then you should consider attending online couples counseling sessions. This may be a very good way to work on any problems present in your relationship. There is a chance that your problems might be associated with a diagnosis of depression or anxiety. You could also be having these feelings due to inherent problems with the way your relationship works.

Either way, online counselors are ready to help you overcome these issues. They know how to help couples figure out what is keeping them from finding true happiness. They may be able to guide you down a happier path in life while addressing whatever you're experiencing. Having skilled professionals like this on your side may make it much easier to move forward together. Research done on online therapy has concluded that it's as effective, if not more so, than in-person therapy when working on disorders like depression.

Online counseling with Regain is an effective, valuable resource for people who are struggling with feelings of emptiness. All you need is an electronic device and an internet connection, and you'll be working on your feelings in no time.

Below are some reviews of Regain counselors for you to read from people experiencing similar issues.

Counselor reviews

“I don’t know what I would have done without Harry. I was in a super low place, and I was not sure what my problems were or how to solve them, but he was able to help me get to the bottom of my problems and work through them. Today I am happy and feeling like myself again. He was so easy to talk to and worked with me whenever I needed him. Even on vacation, he took the time to call me and talk through whatever I was going through. I would highly recommend him.”

“With Cassandra’s help, we’ve been able to bring our relationship to a new, healthier, and much happier level, working through painful situations, growing as individuals and as a couple, and with tools to stay on this path. She’s very responsive, and it has been great to have her facilitate our messaging through the app all week. I highly recommend Cassandra. She’s skilled, supportive, and down-to-earth. We feel totally comfortable with her.”

Takeaway

You don’t have to live with feelings of emptiness. Wherever these feelings stem from, whether drug addiction, a part of the grieving process, or something else, help is available. A licensed counselor can help you unpack your feelings, determine their source, and create a treatment plan that will work for you. They may also help you best understand whether your relationship is working or not. Take the first step to a healthier, fuller, and happier life.

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