“I Don’t Need Anyone”: How To Thrive While Being Single

While being in a relationship can provide value to some, others may find that they don't necessarily need a relationship now or in the future. That said, the societal pressure that many face can make us feel bad about not being in a relationship with someone. You may even get into a relationship because other people tell you it’s how to live your life the “right way.” Despite these demands, understand that you don't have to do anything that doesn't provide value in your life, including entering relationships with others.

If you do feel guilt or shame about your relationship status, it can make it hard to enjoy your life while you are single. But these feelings can be overcome so that you can live your life how you want to and thrive while single. 

Here are some tips on how to enjoy life as a single person: 

Release any guilt or unnecessary negative emotions

As mentioned, being single isn't always a joyous experience for people who think they must be in a relationship to be happy. They may feel the need to be constantly in a relationship because those closest to them recommend it. However, they may have found that being in a relationship is too constricting or limiting for them. Some people don't want a relationship, and it can be challenging to overcome the difficult feelings that may arise if you feel like you are letting yourself and others down.

The first step to resolving those feelings begins with realizing they have developed from others' beliefs, not your own. For example, you probably don’t feel guilty because you believe that you should be in a relationship-- you feel guilty because of other’s expectations. 

The second step begins by figuring out what you want out of your life. If you do not want a relationship, that is your truth, which you should feel comfortable living by until you change your mind. Living life unapologetically single will remove all the negative emotions that may have come with your choice to stay single at this point.

Contemplate the direction you’d like to go in life

Taking on a relationship with a partner often means working on a relationship outside your own, which can take away some of the initial attention you would give yourself. This can steer you away from your own goals as you turn your focus over to the joint needs and goals you may have with your partner. Being single means having the freedom to pursue some of these goals.

Take some time to sit down and come up with a list of everything you have wanted to do before your last relationship or even some of the things you have always wanted to do. Make sure that they are specific so that you know exactly what you want to accomplish. For example, perhaps you have always wanted to perform music locally but have yet to have the time to practice and write music. You can make this a focus area as you set a deadline and milestones for your goal and slowly work towards them. Making your own path a priority will cultivate happiness in being single. 

Try things that you were never able to try in a relationship

Only some partners you have will have the same interests as you. This may mean compromising on some things you want to do. Being single, however, allows you to do anything you want since your partner is now yourself. Take this opportunity to try things you were never able to do in a relationship. For example, if you have always wanted to climb Mt. Everest or wanted to try a cross-country trip, you’re free to plan accordingly. You can use this time to do what you have always wanted. If or when you are in a relationship later, you may not have the time or the ability.

Use your free time to take care of yourself

Self-care can often become less of a priority when juggling relationships and personal demands with your goals and dreams. Being single is the perfect time to focus more on your health and happiness. For example, lifestyle changes such as exercising or eating a better diet can help you feel better. You can also practice self-care by taking on new hobbies or doing things that make you feel relaxed and happy. 

This is also an excellent time to do some self-exploration. Consider journaling or meditating to get in touch with your inner self—you may be surprised by what you discover. Much like your partner becomes a priority in a relationship, you should always be your priority when you are only focused on your relationship with yourself. 

Cultivate your non-romantic relationships

Even though you are not in a romantic relationship, that doesn't mean you must be completely alone. Being in a committed relationship with someone else can make it harder to nourish your relationships with your family and friends. Now that you have plenty of free time take time out of your schedule to reconnect with these individuals. Your friends and family are just as crucial as any significant other, and touching base with these connections can be a valuable experience for many. 

Even if you enjoy your own company and can be self-sufficient, total isolation from others is unhealthy for humans, leading to depression, anxiety, and the physical health problems that can accompany them. That’s why it’s essential to cultivate relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and others while you’re enjoying the single life. 

Because we are naturally social beings, you must have some social interaction throughout your week. Visiting your family, inviting friends over for dinner, or joining a club or intermural sports league are great ways to maintain bonds with others and stay involved. 

Find your way to thriving again in online therapy

Some people may enjoy being single but do not enjoy being alone in any capacity. Some feel lonely, some don’t like being left alone with their thoughts, and others may have difficulty establishing their own individuality.  This aversion to being alone can sometimes, but not always, be a side effect of a mental health condition or insecurities. If you can relate to this situation, addressing these issues with a mental health professional who can help you work past them to thrive while you are on your own is essential.

The rise in popularity of online counseling has made it easier than ever to talk to a professional. Platforms like Regain put people in touch with licensed, accredited mental health professionals with experience in various backgrounds. You can speak with a Regain therapist from home on a schedule that suits you via text, online messaging, video chat, and phone. 

Online therapy is affordable, and a growing body of evidence indicates it’s as effective as traditional therapy for treating a wide range of mental health conditions. For example, a publication in the National Center for Health Research evaluated three meta-analyses comparing the effectiveness of virtual and conventional therapy for trauma, anxiety, and depressive disorders— finding that “online therapy can be effective at treating anxiety, depression, and trauma. There is no difference in patient satisfaction depending on whether therapy is online or in-person, and for either method of receiving therapy, the outcomes are better the more sessions someone attends.”

Takeaway

Counseling isn’t only for those who need help with mental health and wellness issues. Talking with a counselor is also highly beneficial for exploring your inner self, obtaining guidance for making big life decisions, and navigating everyday challenges with life and relationships. 

Whether you’d like to get in touch with yourself more intimately, you’re newly single and need help adjusting, or you’ve been single for a while but are having difficulty with being on your own, reaching out to a Regain professional can help you find balance and thrive as a single person.