Are You Falling In Love Too Fast?

The time when you fall in love is exciting, thrilling, and can cause your stomach to turn to butterflies. Research has shown that it can affect the human brain when you fall in love, stimulating the reward circuit area of the brain and causing a rush of good feelings throughout the body. In a sense, falling in love can feel like a natural high which can almost feel addictive, You find yourself thinking about your partner all the time and you are at your happiest when you are together. New romances are intoxicating which may make it difficult to think clearly and rationally in this phase. When these feelings hit you hard, you may begin to wonder if you are falling in love too fast. 

Unfortunately, no “standard” amount of time is appropriate for a couple to feel like they are in love because every relationship is different. Some couples take years to get to this point, and others seem to take only a few days. Regardless of how long you have been with your partner, if you feel like you are in love, but you are afraid it is happening too fast, there are some things you should consider. This article will help you to identify signs you are falling too fast and how to manage these feelings in a clear mind but open heart. 

How to know if you are falling in love too fast

All the telltale signs are there: the butterflies, the racing heart, that euphoric feeling when your partner is around. You are pretty sure you are in love, and it feels good. But you still have some reservations. You wonder if your relationship is moving too fast. 

You may also care for your partner and want to make sure your feelings are not solely based on emotion without reason. You may understand that the infatuation of new love can cloud your vision and prevent you from seeing the potential warning signs before it is too late. However, there is a way to think rationally about your relationship. Here are some signs to watch out for to help you know if you are thinking you fall in love too hastily. 

You need to know your partner on a deeper level

Obviously, you are extremely attracted to your partner. Their attractiveness is perhaps one of the first things that drew you to them. Physical attraction is not necessarily superficial and can be healthy in a romantic relationship. However, the longer you are with your partner, the more your relationship should go beyond what you can see on the surface.

Are you able to have deep and meaningful conversations with your partner, or is your relationship mostly about physical attraction? It is possible to be sexually intimate with somebody without really knowing them, even in a relationship. If you want to have a meaningful relationship based in love, be sure that your infatuation with your partner is not just based on an intense physical desire. Get to know your partner’s passions, their dreams and future goals, who they are as a person. If you do not know your partner very well, but still are convinced you are falling in love, be careful. Please slow down and get to know them before you allow yourself to get carried away emotionally.

You are willing to overlook red flags

Infatuation can make you do silly things. When you fall in love, it seems like you will do just about anything to make your significant other happy. Obviously, it is good to go out of your way to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. But you may miss things that are wrong if you are not careful. You may be allowing your partner to take advantage of you without being aware. You may overlook personality flaws in your partner if you fall in love too quickly because the feelings associated with infatuation may impair your centers of reason. 

Be clear with your boundaries and do not allow your partner to them just because you are distracted by your new feelings of love. You may think it’s fine to overlook the red flags now, but there will be a time when the warm and fuzzy feelings will fade. When this happens, you still will have to acknowledge the problems with your partner and your relationship, but by this time, it may be too late to fix it. If you find yourself excusing bad behavior and ignoring red flags in your relationship, then you are probably falling too fast.

If you are not with them, you feel lost

When you fall in love, it is natural to want to be with your partner as much as possible. Obviously, you are not going to have a successful relationship if you do not enjoy spending time together. Be careful, however, that your world does not just revolve solely around your romantic relationship. If you are abandoning other friendships and important relationships because you can’t bear to be apart from your significant other, this may be turning into an unhealthy obsession.

You do not necessarily want your partner to provide all the meaning in your life because they are human and can’t live up to that task. It is important to be your autonomous person and find happiness and more than just your relationship. If you find yourself in this situation, you need to pump the brakes because you are overly dependent on one person. If you allow yourself to continue down this road, it could severely damage your emotional well-being, as well as the other important relationships and priorities in your life. Take your time ease into your serious relationship, and don’t put all your worth into the relationship.

You get upset when your partner is busy

Another sign that things could be moving too quickly is if you are unable to tolerate your partner doing things without you. If you are hurt or angry when your partner tells you that they are busy, this is a sign that the proper amount of trust has not yet been established in your relationship. If you are plagued by jealousy when your partner is unable to spend every waking moment with you, it is a sign that your relationship probably needs more time to cultivate trust and understanding. Give it some time before you fall in love.

Knowing when you are not falling in love too fast

If you are reading this, you probably are experiencing feelings for someone that seem like love, or you are looking for love in the future. You may not know what love feels like and are trying to decipher the difference between love and infatuation. Not knowing if this feeling is merely based on physical attraction and overhyped emotion or something deeper and more trustworthy can be confusing. Thankfully, there are things to look for in your relationship that will let you know that you are not falling in love too quickly, that your feelings are healthy, and that it is the right time.

Your partner treats you well

Number one, your partner should treat you well. Don’t settle for a relationship where somebody takes advantage of you, doesn’t respect your convictions, and couldn’t care less about what is important to you. Your partner should listen attentively when you speak and be concerned about making you feel respected and appreciated. If your relationship has been established on compassion, kindness, and mutual respect, you can feel good about falling in love because these are the foundational things in a strong and lasting relationship, the things that will endure past the infatuation phase and will help your love flourish even through the tough times. If your partner does not treat you well, it is highly recommended you attend couples counseling so you can learn to treat each other with respect and communicate healthily.

You know a lot about them

Some relationships blossom out of already established friendships, where the two people already have a lot in common. Some begin as romantic entanglements, where the two are mere strangers and have to learn a lot about one another. Whichever relationship you might find yourself in, the bottom line is that you must know your significant other.

You may be extremely physically attracted and even emotionally attached to your partner, but have you taken the time to get to know them? Have you met your partner’s family yet? Do you know your partner’s passions, dreams, and motivations? It’s important to know somebody before falling in love with them. You need to be sure that you can support your partner in their ambitions and that you can embrace who they are as a person. Otherwise, you may be surprised down the road by how incompatible you both are. If you know your partner well and feel that your relationship passes the compatibility test, you aren’t falling in love too quickly.

You are aware of their flaws and embrace them

You probably have heard the saying “Love is blind”, but this is not necessarily true. Infatuation is blind. Infatuation is the overwhelming amorous feeling you get when you first fall for someone. It is intense, and it quickly subsides. It is during this stage of a relationship when people may miss signs of problems and not see flaws in their partner. Infatuation ignores reality and refuses to see the imperfections that reside in the object of its desire. You know you are merely infatuated when you blind yourself to red flags or flaws before your eyes to preserve your feeling of attachment. However, when these euphoric feelings subside, you may be surprised by the reality of certain flaws and be unable to tolerate them. 

The reason people say that love is blind because when people choose to love, they often see things in their stark reality but choose to love anyway. The flaws that they see do not affect their devotion to the people they love. The truth is no one is perfect, including your partner. Do you see your significant other through a realistic lens? Before falling in love, you should know your partner well enough to be aware of their flaws. You need to be willing to accept your partner’s shortcomings and embrace who they are, foibles and all. You will know that you are not falling in love in haste if you fall in love with your eyes wide open.

Asking for professional advice

When you realize that you are falling in love too fast, it is not about trying to stop yourself from falling, but time to step back and assert a slower pace. As long as the new relationship is otherwise healthy and there are no red flags, you and your new partner may be eager to move forward. If you are unsure how to direct a relationship toward moving at a healthier speed, reach out to a trusted person and do not hesitate to consult a counselor or therapist.

Therapists, such as those who work through Regain.Us, will bring a third-party perspective to the relationship, can help you create realistic, healthy expectations within your relationship while guiding you on your journey to discovering what authentic love feels like. If you are unsure about what a healthy love relationship entails, you may find it beneficial to speak with a licensed therapist. They can assist you in exploring how your past may be affecting your current outlook on love and potentially interfering with moving understanding the true meaning of love in relationships.

There are many convenient ways that you can seek out therapy, including online therapy. A study published in the peer-reviewed research Journal of Clinical Psychology  examined information from over 100 different online counseling trials. This study found that overall attitudes between both counselors and participants were as positive as with in-person counseling.  Additionally, online therapy is one of the most popular and cost-effective methods for getting help. This allows you to talk to a therapist online in several different ways. You can receive video chat therapy, phone therapy, text messaging therapy, or email therapy. 

Takeaway

You may not know your partner well enough or ignore their bad qualities when you fall in love too quickly. Truthfully, when you fall in love under the right circumstances, have a healthy relationship with someone, and fulfill your needs in a partner, you simply cannot fall in love too fast. Just take your time, ease into the relationship, and find out if your partner is the one for you. This way, you will know your feelings are right on time.