Exploring Surprising Facts About Sexual Intimacy
Sexual intimacy is a vast topic that can mean many different things depending on who you ask. Some people feel uncomfortable discussing sexual issues with their partners or close friends, making it easy for them to lack helpful knowledge about sex and intimacy. Read on to explore surprising facts you may not have known about sexual intimacy and how couples therapy can help you build closeness with your partner.
What is sexual intimacy?
Sexual intimacy is the feelings of safety, satisfaction, and closeness sexual partners share. When two people with an emotional connection have a sexual relationship, they may develop sexual intimacy. While it is possible to have sex without intimacy, many people find that it enhances the experience significantly.
- Emotional Intimacy: Complex feelings of love, trust, and closeness.
- Physical Intimacy: Non-sexual touching, such as cuddling, hand holding, hugging, etc., that may enhance the feeling of closeness with your partner and inspire desire
- Sexual Intimacy: The combination of physical touch during sexual activity with the closeness and trust of emotional intimacy.
“When you’re having sex, your vaginal canal can get longer to accommodate penetration. Sexual arousal forces your cervix and uterus to lift up and out of the way, which causes the upper two-thirds of your vagina to lengthen.” — Healthline
How to talk about sex with your partner
- Start slowly if you’re uncomfortable or nervous.
- Focus on the intimacy you share and how your partner makes you feel.
- Learn to express yourself. If they touch you in a way you like, tell them. Talk about your boundaries, fantasies, and what makes you sexually curious.
- Check in with each other often to ensure you know how to please each other.
Exploring surprising facts about sexual intimacy
You may be shocked to learn some of the following facts about sex and intimacy in romantic relationships. Expand your knowledge base and learn some interesting, fun sex facts you can share with your partner.
Are hickeys dangerous?
Hickeys, also often called love bites, are seen in various ways by different people, ranging from a mild inconvenience or embarrassing souvenir of an encounter to potentially dangerous. Generally, hickeys are located on the neck and form a harmless dark bruise when the blood vessels break after your partner applies suction. However, if your partner gives you a love bite too hard over a vein or artery, it could lead to a blood clot that could cause significant problems.
The penis can shrink if it’s not used
While “Use it or lose it” may be a cliché, it may be true for some men. Penis shrinkage can occur in men who don’t experience regular erections. Steady blood flow to the penis supports penile health and increases muscle tone, but various health conditions can prevent sufficient blood flow. Without proper blood flow, men may experience a one to two-centimeter loss of penis length.
High heels can make it harder to orgasm
Studies show that toe-curling orgasms often create the same arch in the foot as high heels, potentially leading to decreased sensitivity and additional challenges in achieving orgasm. Wearing high heels engages the same pelvic muscles women use while climaxing. If you wear them often, those muscles are constantly engaged—which can decrease your sensitivity.
Scientists studied the average number of thrusts during sex
Many people may wonder how they measure up against the average, and sex is no exception. A study measuring the friction-relieving properties of a condom coating determined that sexual intercourse lasts an average of 100 to 500 thrusts—approximately three to seven minutes for those who measure by time.
Love isn’t just for fairytales—it makes sex better
While you can certainly have sex without feeling love for your partner, studies show that the emotional connection you feel can make sex more satisfying. The feelings of love, commitment, and emotional intimacy can increase sexual satisfaction.
Sex is healthy for you…
Regular sexual activity can provide several health benefits, such as lower blood pressure, improved heart health and reduced risk of heart disease, improved memory and sleep, stress reduction, and increased self-esteem.
…but it kills more than you’d think
Studies show that approximately one in 500,000 men die during sex from a sudden cardiovascular event. Additionally, data shows that between 250 and 1000 people die each year from autoerotic asphyxiation—intentionally restricting oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal is dangerous.
Sexual stimulation can be effective pain relief
When you're sexually aroused, your brain releases endorphins. Sex and sexual touch can be natural painkillers on top of their other health benefits.
Lubrication increases orgasm chance
Lube can be your best friend during sex. Using lube during intercourse helps ease vaginal and reduce the chance of tearing while increasing the pleasure and satisfaction women feel.
Semen is low in calories
While the average male ejaculation isn’t going to provide much nourishment in less than a teaspoon, semen does have nutritional content and generally between three to seven calories.
“Sperm contains vitamin C, B12, ascorbic acid, calcium, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, zinc, potassium, sodium, fat, and hundreds of different proteins. But don't quit your daily vitamin just yet.” — Dr. Michael Reitano
You can have an orgasm in your sleep
While you may think “wet dreams,” also called sleep orgasms and nocturnal emissions, only happen to pubescent boys, studies show that adults can achieve orgasms during erotic dreams, and women can experience wet dreams too.
Frequent orgasms can reduce prostate cancer risk and improve sperm quality
Studies show that frequent orgasms may reduce the risk of prostate cancer in men 50 and older. Men who ejaculated daily had higher quality semen and more viable sperm in a 2009 study.
The vagina can grow with arousal
Sexual health educators say the vagina can almost double in length when a woman is aroused. During a process called vaginal tenting, muscle tension related to desire and arousal makes the vagina grow from an average of three to four inches up to five to six inches, allowing for penetration.
“When you’re having sex, your vaginal canal can get longer to accommodate penetration. Sexual arousal forces your cervix and uterus to lift up and out of the way, which causes the upper two-thirds of your vagina to lengthen.” — Healthline
Clitoral stimulation is required for orgasm in 75% of women
Most women need more than vaginal intercourse to achieve orgasm. Studies show that only 25% of women consistently orgasm from penetration alone. If you’re not climaxing during sex, try adding clitoral stimulation to your sexual routine.
Intimacy often matters more than orgasms as you age
Humans naturally undergo changes to their bodies and sex drives as they age. As you experience different levels of desire and ability to engage in sex, you may find that intimacy with your partner matters more than orgasms. However, you should be aware that the importance of non-sexual physical contact may increase as it contributes to the intimacy you share.
Crying after sex can be common
If you've ever cried after sex or been with someone who has, it can leave you feeling confused, upset, and wondering what went wrong. Many people feel intense sadness, anger, or even emotional distress after an orgasm, a condition called post-coital dysphoria.
Sex myths it’s time to stop believing
- Studies show that shoe size has nothing to do with penis length.
- Pineapple won’t make your semen taste better, but a balanced diet and plenty of water can.
- Sex is a substitute for a workout. Studies show that sex doesn’t burn that many calories. On average, men burn 101 and women burn 69 calories during typical sex.
- Masturbation is bad for you. Studies show that masturbating "too much" isn't real, and it actually brings multiple health benefits.
How therapy can help you build sexual intimacy
Many couples have uneasy sexual intimacy because they don’t know how to talk about sex. Consider working with a licensed couples therapist through a virtual teletherapy platform focused on relationship issues like Regain. Therapy can help you identify and address relationship hangups and help you find healthy ways to discuss sex and intimacy with your partner through developing communication skills.
Recent research indicates no substantial difference in online and in-person couples therapy outcomes. Both groups showed an increase in relationship satisfaction and communication efficiency. Virtual treatments offer the added benefits of being more cost-effective, having shorter wait times, and providing access to a much more comprehensive selection of therapists. Studies show that individual therapy is also equally effective online and face-to-face.
Takeaway
Sexual intimacy can significantly impact the health and success of a relationship. The information provided in this article may offer insight into surprising facts about sexual intimacy and how therapy can help couples find healthy ways to improve their sex life.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
Can a hickey kill you?
Typically, a hickey is not dangerous or indicative of bad news. Hickeys occur when aggressive kissing or sucking causes blood vessels located beneath the skin’s surface to break, which permits blood to flow from out beneath the skin and leave behind a visible bruise. Although it is not purely the suction that causes a hickey, lip pressure is applied.
Too much pressure can cause blood clots to form, and if they are large enough, in very rare cases, those clots could block blood flow to the brain and possibly result in death. Therefore, there is an extremely rare chance that people may have a stroke from a hickey. In even rarer circumstances, these strokes could result in a person’s death.
So far, there has only been one documented hickey-induced death. In 2016, a 17-year-old Mexican boy died after experiencing convulsions while having dinner with his family in Iztapalapa, Mexico City. It was then reported that his death was from the result of a hickey-induced stroke. This rare story provides more of a fear-mongering response rather than the real answer to the question, “are hickeys bad?”
Ultimately, you do not have to get rid of hickey bruises because of this incredibly rare chance of death. Hickeys are typically harmless, and a hickey is not dangerous for the most part, which may provide an answer to the question, “are hickeys bad?” Of course, if you or your partner wants to get rid of hickey marks in the future for any reason, then you can use the internet and look for alternatives other than to give hickeys to your partner and get rid of hickey entirely if it is best for your relationship. Love bites could be avoidable if you communicate to your partner that you don’t like them.
Why are hickeys considered bad?
Having a hickey is not dangerous or bad since they are harmless and do not affect who you are as a person. Physically, hickeys are no worse than any bruise. The social component can make people feel like they could be judged for having a visible hickey. Many people worry about the question, “are hickeys bad?” This question may be influenced by how others see people with hickeys.
However, hickeys are pretty normal and may also be an innocent accident by your partner. You can get rid of hickeys after some time passes, but there is nothing to be ashamed of if you get or want to give hickeys. Some people prefer having a physical reminder of romantic love, while others prefer to cover them up or not get them at all, and all preferences are valid.
What are hickeys a sign of?
A hickey is not dangerous because a person’s life is not at risk, nor is the hickey itself indicative of any health issue. The person who receives a hickey may have different comfort levels about suction or pressure, and one should never feel pressured to experience pain in a romantic setting. However, once the action has already been performed, the hickey is just a later indication of what happened, like a bruise, and does nothing itself. People who ask, “are hickeys bad?” may understandably be assuming or worrying that a bruise on someone’s neck could be harmful.
But it is important to provide a satisfying answer to the question: “are hickeys bad?” by being honest and straightforward about the harmless nature of hickeys.
Why do people give hickeys?
Firstly, a hickey is not dangerous or bad news that could indicate another serious medical issue. Hickeys can be one physical way of expressing love. Hickeys can also be an accident during an intimate moment between loved ones as well. However, people may still ask, “are hickeys bad?” Asking if hickeys dangerous is valid, but they rarely are.
While there is an extremely rare and low chance of hickeys dangerous causing death, hickeys are pretty normal physical signs of one’s relationship with another person. Thus, if you hear someone ask: “are hickeys bad?” You know that hickeys are not harmful, then tell them your opinion honestly.
How long do hickeys last?
Hickeys can last upward of two weeks, during which most of the bruise will disappear from the body. When you first get a hickey, or if you are curious, if you give hickeys, it will likely appear as a reddish bruise under the skin. Within two days, the bruise may darken, but the hickey probably starts fading away by the fifth day. After two weeks at most, the hickey may be reduced to a light yellowish color.
However, if you want to get rid of hickey marks for work or personal reasons, there are a few methods that you can try at home. These include:
- Massaging the hickey area to reduce pain and increase blood flow
- Applying skin lotion (e.g., aloe vera) to minimize pain and swelling
- Using a cold compress or chilled spoon on the area
There isn’t a set cure for hickeys since they are natural forms of expression among two people and fundamentally no different from bruises. The only verified cure for hickeys is patience or trying a method above that may help you get rid of hickeys faster.
People may want to get rid of hickey marks because they do not want to look unprofessional. You can also get rid of hickey presence by hiding it with a scarf or collared shirt. You can try to get rid of hickey marks by applying skin lotion or massaging the hickey area, but there is no definite cure for hickeys.
Can a hickey be permanent?
A hickey is not permanent, nor is the possibility of hickeys dangerous entirely true either. A hickey is not dangerous because it does not put your life in danger. While there is no cure for hickeys, you can get rid of hickey presence by hiding it with a cloth piece. A hickey is just a superficial indicator of an action that already happened, like a bruise, rather than a new injury.
However, if someone does not like the feeling of getting a hickey, consider informing them of your discomfort. A hickey is not dangerous, but that does not mean a person should be okay with a hickey if it hurts them in some way, indicating that their partner is not gentle enough. You can get rid of hickey presence by hiding it with clothes or makeup or converse with your partner about avoiding leaving any marks on your neck in the future.
Do love bites cause cancer?
A hickey is not dangerous for the most part, so it does not cause cancer. Although the question, “are hickeys bad?” is asked by many people online and offline, rest assured that a hickey is not dangerous and represents only a bruise that will go away.
There is a chance that the reason why people may ask, “are hickeys bad” could relate to the extremely rare chance of death from a hickey (one person in recorded history whose blood clot led to stroke). If you want to rid of hickeys to have peace of mind or appear professional for your career, you can either wait out the hickey or try various methods, such as applying aloe vera on the hickey area.
A hickey is not dangerous but can be seen as a sign of affection from your partner. The question “are hickeys bad?” is asked from a reasonable standpoint. Some people may feel worried that their hickeys can be bad news regarding their job or how others perceive them. But hickeys are pretty normal because the bruises are not indicative of your personality or professionalism. Covering with makeup or stimulating the area with massage can help the bruise's appearance, but there are no guarantees.
How do you hide hickeys?
If you have a hickey-induced bruise but do not want others seeing your hickey, there are a few ways that you can hide your hickeys. Although there are no methods that can definitely quicken the removal process, you may need to hide it because you have something important coming up. Thus, here are a few tips for getting rid of hickey marks:
- Wear a collared shirt or a scarf
- Use a bandage over the hickey area
- Apply makeup over the mark
- Stimulate blood flow in the area with massage
- Use a cold compress or chilled spoon
What does hickey symbolize?
What does it mean when a guy gives you a hickey on your neck?
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