10 Ways To Know He’s The One

If you’ve been dating someone great for a while now, you may be asking yourself if he’s “the one” you’ve been looking for and want to spend your life with. Despite how sure you may feel about this person, romantic relationships can be confusing and complicated, and when it comes to choosing a lifelong partner, the decision of whether to commit can be intimidating. The person you choose to spend your life with can impact nearly every aspect of your life, meaning it can be crucial that you make an informed decision. In this article, we’ll be discussing 10 signs you might consider when deciding whether he’s the right one for you. 

Ways to know he is the one

There may have been only one or two things that initially attracted you to your person. Usually, the qualities that catch your attention first are surface-level qualities like good looks, charisma, etc., but a handsome face and a charming personality may only go so far when you think about making a lifelong commitment to him. You don’t need a checklist to determine if he could be the one for you. Rather, you can assess how he makes you feel and how you feel about him to determine whether this could be “the one.” Here are 10 things to consider as you try to come to a conclusion about what this special person in your life may mean to you:

He goes out of his way to make you feel appreciated

It may seem like a given that in a long-term relationship, appreciation for the other person is a must. However, in many relationships, gratitude can become an afterthought or even be non-existent. It can be all too easy to take the other person for granted, especially if you’ve been together for a while. 

While it's normal to do things for your partner without expecting anything in return, it can also be important to hear a "thank you" for those little things you do for him. It is not just the verbal expression of thankfulness that shows he appreciates you. Does he ask for your advice? Does he value your opinion? Does he include you in his decision-making process? If he goes out of his way to express his appreciation for you, you may be able to feel stable about forming a lifelong relationship with him. In return, it can be essential that you show your appreciation for him, too. 

You feel comfortable around him

Another way to know he's one is if you no longer feel the need to hide all those strange quirks of yours or stray away from those off-limit conversations. When your partner is around, it can be crucial for you to feel safe with him. In fact, just being with him may set you at ease. You can let your guard down and be exactly who you are without worrying about the consequences. Additionally, while it's healthy to be comfortable talking with him about any topic under the sun, it can also be a positive sign if you're able to just sit together in comfortable silence. 

You have the same opinions on kids

One of the most important topics for any relationship is if kids fit into the equation. Many people have different opinions about kids. It might be whether they want them or not, or how many. Maybe he feels like the more the merrier, but you feel that even just a couple of littles running around would be too many. Maybe he doesn't even want kids and would rather have your relationship be just the two of you, even after getting married.

It can be important to be clear about where you stand on this subject. Any miscommunication in this area can lead to frustrations or unfulfilled expectations. What you want your future family to look like should play a major role in your decision about a lifelong relationship. You shouldn't have to give up your dreams of having a child because your partner doesn't want any. So, if you find agreement in this area, it could be another sign he may be the one.

He supports your goals in life

If he's the one, he’ll probably feel like your biggest fan. He’ll celebrate your successes, cheer you on in the tough times, and grieve with you when disappointments come your way. Choosing a lifelong partner shouldn't mean sacrificing all your hopes and dreams. In fact, it can be invaluable to have a person by your side who believes in you, especially during times when you’re struggling to believe in yourself.

According to Dr. John Gottman's Sound Relationship House Theory, being in a relationship where you feel encouraged to follow your dreams is a contributing factor to a successful marriage. It can be important that your man embraces your goals and takes an active part in seeing you accomplish them. If your wins are his wins, if he doesn't judge you for your failures, if he encourages you to get back up and try again, and if he wants to see you reach your highest potential, then he may be the one. Therefore, being a supportive partner can be essential to a lasting, healthy relationship. 

You have the same values

Ginger Rogers once said, "When two people love each other, they don't look at each other, they look in the same direction." This is ultimately a statement about values. Our values define who we are and the direction we take in life. These are deeply held beliefs that we cannot compromise without damaging who we are as a person. They are our beliefs about love, honesty, compassion, loyalty, respect, and so on. 

Marrying a man who has different fundamental beliefs than you can create problems down the road. It can be difficult to sustain a relationship in which you both work toward opposite values-based goals. Something has to give. Either it will be your relationship, or it will be your values. Being on the same page about your morals and values and living for the same purpose could indicate that he’s the one for you. 

You have common interests

Having common interests may seem like an oversimplified and obvious qualification, but it's one that can often be overlooked. Many times, when a couple is in the early stages of their relationship, they don't notice that they have very little in common because they're more focused on the romance aspect of their new relationship than the friendship aspect.

However, it can be vital to have something to connect over so that when the butterflies of infatuation fade, you can settle into a comfortable companionship. It could be any number of things - politics, music, sports, or even a certain genre of movies - but whatever it may be, if you find that you and your partner enjoy similar hobbies, he may be the one.

He tries to resolve conflict with you

Disagreements happen in any relationship, even those that are strong and healthy. Sometimes you're in the wrong, and sometimes he's in the wrong. Further, sometimes the argument is nobody's fault because that's the way life happens from time to time. Regardless, a willingness to apologize, compromise, and make things right after an argument can be a positive quality to look for in a lifelong partner. It's a sign of humility, and it shows that he respects you even when you don't see eye to eye. When conflict happens in your relationship, pay attention to how your partner reacts. If he makes a concerted effort to bring the conflict to a peaceful resolution, he could be the one.

You have the same sense of humor

His sense of humor might have been one of those things that initially caught your attention about him, and it's not a trivial thing. It can be especially important in a lifelong relationship. Sometimes life is tough and outside pressures build up and press in on your relationship. It's times like this when you need to be able to laugh together because humor can be one of life's greatest stress relievers.

Humor smooths out those bumpy parts in your relationship, where disagreements or disappointments may have taken their toll. When you can laugh together, it creates a strong and positive bond that can help get you through the more challenging moments in life. 

He respects your boundaries

Every healthy relationship needs healthy boundaries. Setting up boundaries can help a relationship maintain its long-term stability and contribute to the satisfaction of both partners. Boundaries can be emotional, physical, mental, or even spiritual. If you've clearly expressed what those boundaries are to him, but he continues to push you to violate them, then you may not be in the right relationship. If this is the case, it is recommended that you two attend relationship counseling so you can discuss the importance of boundaries with a licensed professional. Seeking a counselor can also be helpful if you want tips on addressing relationship problems.

On the other hand, when your man honors your boundaries, he is telling you that he values you just as he values himself. A healthy relationship requires trust, and part of building that trust can involve acknowledging and respecting the boundaries that have been established. Something that is a big deal to you may not be to him, but a positive sign that he's the one is if he chooses to respect that part of you anyway.

He respects you

Without mutual respect, a romantic relationship may fail to last. In fact, respect can be like the umbrella that everything else falls under in a healthy relationship. It's the overarching and essential theme. Respect, or the lack thereof, can affect every aspect of your life together. The right man for you chooses to respect you above everything else. He doesn't ask you to compromise your values, your boundaries, or your dreams to make him happy. In fact, it makes him happy to see those things fulfilled in your life, and he'll do his best to make sure that they are. If you've found a man who respects you like that, he may be the one.