Don't Let A Fear Of Dating Hold You Back: Five Ways To Overcome Apprehension

For some people, the idea of dating is exciting. They love to meet new people and build new connections. However, there are other people who fear the idea of dating and will go out of their way to avoid it. The fear of dating can hold you back from having the kind of relationship you may otherwise crave. For many people, having someone to be intimate with is very important.

Unfortunately, when you have a fear of dating, getting into a new relationship isn't simple. Your fear and apprehension may hold you back from the happiness you deserve. Fortunately, there are many ways to overcome these feelings so you can chase your happiness and feel more confident about stepping into the world of dating.

1. Acknowledge your fear

The first step to overcoming your fear of dating is to acknowledge it. When you recognize you have a problem and decide to take action against it, you are making the first step toward overcoming your issues and getting out there to meet people.

The second step is understanding why you have these issues. Think back to a time when you didn't feel this way about relationships. What has changed since then? Maybe you had a bad experience in a relationship that caused you to lose faith in the process. 

Understand that your past need not control your future. Additionally, the things that have happened to you before aren't necessarily bound to happen to you again. If you can gather the courage to move forward despite your past, you may be surprised. The new relationships that you find might restore your faith in relationships overall. 

2. Take the plunge

Sometimes, overcoming your fear of dating means taking the plunge. If you find yourself backing out as you try to ease into it, you might need to jump right in and trust yourself.

Throwing yourself into this new way of thinking won't always be easy. You may have doubts, and your fears may try to get the best of you. When you feel those doubtful thoughts start to intrude, resist them. Remind yourself of the goal and the plan you have to move forward. Remember that much of this process is mind over matter. If you believe that you can, you will. The minute you let your doubt get the best of you, you may be delaying your path to success.

Daily affirmations are a great way to keep yourself accountable and on track. At the beginning of each day, remind yourself of the strength you have. Commit to yourself that you will do everything you can to battle the self-doubt or sad feelings that you have. After a period, you will naturally be able to recognize opposing thoughts and combat them immediately. The key to this is consistency. If you take the time each day to reiterate your goals and dreams to yourself, you may have a much better chance at success.

3. Take it slow

Taking the plunge doesn't mean you have to rush into anything. Once you decide to fight your fear of dating, you can ease yourself into the dating scene.

As you begin to go out with new people, remember to be patient. There is no set time that you need to spend on any phase of your new relationship. Take as much time as you need to feel comfortable and safe. However, if you feel yourself becoming stagnant in a new relationship, take some time to refocus on your goal and review the path you have planned for yourself.

Don't be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. The journey you have ahead of you isn't one that must be traveled alone. The people that you surround yourself with are tools that you can use on your road to recovery. Express your emotions freely and honestly. The best way to process any negative emotions you have is to be honest about them and take full advantage of any resources you have to overcome them. In the process, you might realize something new that will help you along the way.

4. Communicate with your partner

Your new partner needs to know the struggles and obstacles that you have to overcome. Your fear of dating will affect many things in your new relationship. The best thing you can do is to try to make a teammate out of this new partner.

If you are comfortable doing so, explain the issues that have caused you to get to the point where you are now. This can be helpful since being in a new relationship might expose you to triggers that cause you to backslide. Your partner can offer you support and encouragement to keep fighting the good fight.

In addition to helping you with your fear of dating, this will give your relationship some much-needed exercise in communicating. Since communication is such a key part of any relationship, this is a great skill to develop from the beginning. When you open yourself up to a new person, you are taking a step toward overcoming your fears. This is something to be proud of and revel in. Give yourself credit when it's due!

5. Be gentle with yourself

The road that you must travel on your way to letting go of your fear of dating is long. You may have many obstacles and hardships along the way.

Along with hardships and trouble, you might find failure along the way as well. The important thing to remember when this happens is not to give up. Almost no journey worth taking comes easily. 

Make sure you are prepared for the problems that may come your way. Form a plan on how you will react when you come across an issue. If you are prepared for the worst and you are faced with a problem, you'll be prepared to overcome it.

We are our own worst critics. Even with the best of preparation, you may come to a point where you feel stuck or unsure of what to do. When this happens, your self-esteem may take a hit, or you may have negative feelings about yourself. While you may not feel you have much control over this, that isn't true. You may not be able to control your initial feelings, but you can control how you react after the fact. Choose to be graceful to yourself. Give yourself a chance to fall, and then pick yourself back up. You have the tools and the strength that you need to push forward. If you put your mind to it and focus on the goal, you can get through anything.

Overcome dating apprehension in online therapy

Sometimes, getting over your fear of dating isn't something you should try alone. If the issues in your past were traumatic or you're finding them otherwise difficult to get over, consider reaching out for help.

Professional help in the form of a counselor or therapist might be the best option for you. The counselors and therapists at Regain are fully licensed and experienced in helping people in situations similar to yours. Regain therapists can chat with users via text, telephone, or video. Sessions can take place anywhere you have an internet connection.

Online therapy has helped many individuals get over their fears and anxiety. Online cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) can be a very effective way of dealing with negative thoughts and behaviors. With online CBT, once you process the negatives, you learn to turn them into positives. In this way, you can face your fears head on. When you put your faith in someone reliable and knowledgeable, you may have a much better chance at success. 

Takeaway

Your fear of dating need not take over your life. If you reach out and get the right assistance, you may be well on your way to forming the lasting emotional connections you're looking for.