Undying Love: Its Meaning, Significance, And Practice
Updated July 12, 2019
Many couples begin their marriage with a sincere promise of undying love. It's a very romantic notion, and one that many couples - married or not - try to fulfill. Without a blueprint to go by, though, it isn't always easy to know how to make it happen. So, what is undying love, and what's the best way to practice it?
Let's start with a few definitions.
- Undying means eternal, infinite, permanent, constant.
- Love means, among other things, deep affection, fondness, tenderness, intimacy, attachment, compassion, care, concern, kindness.
What Is Undying Love?
By putting the two words together, we can begin to get an idea of what undying love is. When you have an undying love for someone, your affection, fondness, and tenderness for them never go away completely. You feel attached to them because you always care about them and have compassion for them. You never stop being kind to them.
Intimacy and sex can also be considered definitions of love. It's rarely possible to maintain undying intimacy and sexual attraction over many years. Sometimes the only thing you can do to keep them going is to remain open to their possibility.
What Is the Significance Of Undying Love?
Why does undying love matter? What does it mean to you and your partner, and how does your undying love affect others in society?
Its Importance For The One You Love
Giving your undying love to someone allows them to go through their lives knowing that they aren't alone. It can help them feel a sense of safety in the world. You're their go-to person for comfort when they're sad or care when they're ill. You're there to celebrate their successes and special days.
They can also feel totally accepted for who they are, even if you don't approve of their actions or decisions. They can make the worst decision in the world, but if you have an undying love for them, you'll still show your concern for their happiness and well-being.Because the relationship is so close, they may internalize your positive regard for them and improve their self-esteem.
For some people, being loved with an undying love is a free ticket to behave badly. Others become dependent on receiving that love and may eventually have trouble functioning in their daily lives. So, receiving undying love can be a challenge, albeit one with amazing rewards.
Its Significance For You
What does it mean for you when you love someone with an undying love? For one thing, promising your undying love might just be the greatest challenge you've ever set for yourself. It's a commitment to keep caring about them no matter what they do to you, your loved ones, or others.
There are benefits to loving someone so deeply, though. When you learn to accept someone else despite their faults, you can use that understanding to love yourself more completely. This kind of love keeps you engaged in life at times when you feel more like isolating yourself. It strengthens some of your best life skills, such as showing empathy, feeling appreciation, and being persistent when needed.
What It Means For Your Relationship
Undying love in a relationship means that the person you love always has safety and security in the relationship. It means that you stay with them, either physically or emotionally, regardless of where they go, what they do, or how they behave. Undying love is a commitment that transcends any circumstance or situation. It's love that continues as long as you live.
If you and your partner have an undying love for each other, you may be a couple for the rest of your lives. Or, you might stay together when you can and separate at times when it's best for one or both of you. Regardless of whether you're a couple or not, you always feel that attachment and concern for each other.
How It Impacts Society
The society also benefits from loving relationships. When people understand how to love each other in healthy ways, they make better choices about other things, too. They support each other so that society doesn't have to take on the full responsibility for it. Two people who have a healthy undying love for each other tend to put less burden on society, as they are physically and mentally healthier.
However, when undying love isn't healthy, it can cause societal problems. When people put their love for someone above their sense of right and wrong, they may commit crimes to help their loved one get what they want. Others may abuse their partners or allow themselves to be abused because they think that is what it means to show undying love.
How To Practice Healthy Undying Love
Undying love, then, is a neutral phrase. Undying love can be a positive thing, or it can be extremely destructive. What you need to understand is how to practice healthy undying love for that person who matters so much to you.
What You Do Not Have To Do
Before thinking about what you can do to have and healthily show undying love, consider what you don't need to do. The following list includes unhealthy love behaviors that are best avoided.
- Clinging to them
- Demanding something from them
- Being a martyr
- Staying with them no matter what happens
- Allowing them to hurt you
Know What Commitment Means
Before you promise your undying love, make sure you both know what you mean by that. Good communications are crucial to avoid misunderstandings. If you're committing to giving them only healthy love, know what that is and explain your intentions to the person you love.
Love Them Unselfishly
When you love someone unselfishly, you put their needs equal to or above yours. Unselfish love isn't the same as being a martyr, though. Instead, it means is that you love them because you value and appreciate them rather than because you're going to get something out of the relationship. While it's true that you might benefit from the relationship in many ways, these are bonuses. They aren't the reason you give undying healthy love.
Love Them Unconditionally
Unconditional love means that no matter what they say, do, feel, or choose; you care about them as a person. That doesn't mean you have to agree with what they say and do. It doesn't mean you have to be a party to their unhealthy words or behaviors. It does mean that you look beyond their actions to see that the good part of them is still there, waiting to be rediscovered.
Accept Them For Who They Are
You don't try to change someone for whom you have undying love. You accept your differences and appreciate the things about them that make them who they are. Even if you feel uncomfortable with the ways they're different, you accept those variations. You allow them to be who they are without judging them harshly and unnecessarily. You can reject what they do, but you never reject them as a person.
Respect Their Rights
When you love someone, you want the best for them. If your idea of what's best is different from theirs, though, conflicts can happen. You may even try to control or manipulate them "for their good." But, that's not what it means to love someone healthily.
Many of the 30 Human Rights can be applied to relationships. Not interfering with your loved one's human rights and rights within the relationship is a must if you want to give healthy undying love. These rights include the right to:
- Life, liberty, and personal security
- Freedom from torture or degrading treatment
- Own property
- Freedom of belief and religion
- Freedom of opinion and information
- Rest and leisure
- Participate in the cultural life of community
You need to respect their right to choose even if you don't respect the choices they make. That means you need to allow them personal space to be wrong. What you also need to remember is that you don't know everything. They may actually prove they're right.
Recognize What's Your Responsibility And What Isn't
Undying love doesn't mean taking over all their responsibilities. In fact, when you do that, you show that you don't respect their abilities. Certainly, you need to do what's yours to do. Then, let them do the things that are within their power to do for themselves and the relationship.
Be Willing To Help And Support Them
To give your undying love, you need to be there for them if you need your help and support. Does that mean you have to support them financially or help them do things you believe are ethically wrong? Certainly not! It does mean that you're available for them with emotional support, compassion, and practical help when it doesn't go against your sense of right and wrong.
Another issue with help and support involves pushing help on someone who isn't interested in it. Trying to force someone to take your help doesn't do anyone any favors. It can cause the other person to resent you, feel bad about themselves, or quit trying to solve their problems. So, be ready to help if you're asked but don't push your help on them.
Learn To Let Go
You can love someone with undying love and still let them go their own separate way. Letting go allows you to stay mindful in the present moment and move on with your life. It also gives them the emotional freedom to explore other opportunities and experiences. If you have an undying love for them, you remain open to allowing them back into your life when they're ready to return.
Work Through Problems Together
When you have an undying love for someone, you work through your conflicts together. You communicate in healthy ways, being assertive yet compassionate but not aggressive or passive-aggressive. Talk through your problems giving them respect and unconditional love as you find a solution you can both live with now and in the future.
What if you can't resolve your problems, though? You might discover that your love for them isn't undying after all. Or, you might find out that it's a time when you need to step back and let go. You might also need to learn some relationship skills before you can resolve any specific issues.
Whatever you do, don't let your inability to resolve your disputes drive you apart or make your relationship unhealthy for either of you. You can talk to a licensed counselor at ReGain.us for online therapy at a time and place that works for you. When you learn the true meaning of undying love, you can give it in the healthiest, satisfying way possible for you and your loved one.
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