Signs That Couple Counseling Is A Good Idea

If you’ve been having trouble in your relationship lately, you may be wondering whether couple counseling is a good idea. If you’re constantly fighting with your partner, if you’ve been pretending everything is okay, if your partner refuses to entertain the idea of attending counseling, if you’re facing a major life change, or if the two of you aren’t matching up sexually, it may be time to consider seeing a couples counselor. You may find a suitable counselor online or in your local area.

You're fighting all the time

It can be normal to get into arguments. Different people tend to have different expectations, and disagreeing on matters such as finances and children is only natural in many cases. When disagreements become constant, leading you to feel afraid to have real conversations about important topics, something may be going wrong. A relationship therapist can help you uncover the roots of this aggression, and, perhaps more importantly, teach you ways to make your discussions constructive. It can be possible to hold differing opinions without resorting to name-calling, yelling, or the silent treatment.

You pretend that everything is going well

While fighting can be bad, feeling that you can't complain about your partner's behavior can be even worse. It goes without saying that open communication is often vitally important to the health of any relationship. If certain things are continually being ignored, even when you are upset about them, counseling may become necessary sooner or later. You may not wish to think about it, but some of the goodwill and trust between you and your partner can be eroded every time this happens. Walking on eggshells is generally not a good solution for the long term.

There can be great danger in pretending that all is well, even in the face of a genuine issue. The fact of the matter is that, generally, no couple is perfect. The grass may not always be greener on the other side, and pretending that everything is going well when it's not can be a recipe for disaster. For you and your partner to survive as a couple, it’s often necessary to be honest with one another and evaluate the state of your relationship and various ways to improve. This is an area where couple counseling can be of help as a counselor can facilitate difficult discussions and help you come to terms with and resolve various issues.

Your partner refuses to discuss the idea of couple counseling

Committing to a partner usually means being willing to work hard to get through the rough patches. It may be frightening to air your dirty laundry in front of a stranger, even one who's qualified to help you, but there may come a point when this can't be put off any longer. If your partner refuses even to consider going to counseling, this may mean that they feel threatened about your relationship or unwilling to make an effort. Ironically, not wanting to go can mean that you're in real need of help.

It can be important to understand that the refusal to discuss the idea of couples counseling can be problematic. Even if your partner has reservations, concerns, or anxiety about working with a professional, at the very least, they usually ought to be willing to sit down and discuss matters with you. This can show that they care about your relationship. Whether or not you can persuade your partner could very well determine whether or not your relationship succeeds or fails. Remember, couples therapy normally works best if both you and your significant other are open to it.

You're facing a major life change

Getting married, moving in together, and starting a family can be some of the most significant moments a relationship can go through. Many couples have made the mistake of thinking they're ready for what comes next, only to realize later that their expectations and priorities were not identical. A counselor can help you to clear the air and understand what is most important to each of you.

Even the most exciting life changes can shake things up in relationships. As human beings, we tend to do best with routines and set schedules, but the ability to adapt to change can also be very critical. If you and your significant other are having a tough time dealing with a new stage of life or feel as though this is impacting your relationship, it might be a good idea to look into couples therapy. A counselor can look at your situation from a professional, unbiased perspective and offer meaningful insight that can help you get on the same page.

You're not matching up sexually

Different people often have different libidos and erotic desires. Couples aren't necessarily equally able to discuss their sexuality, meaning that this kind of issue can be left unaddressed for years. In some cases, this can even lead to infidelity or breakups. Numerous relationship counselors specialize in helping people talk through whatever difficulties they may be facing in the bedroom, which is often necessary to find common ground.

If you and your partner struggle with sex or intimacy, this can be tough and challenging. You both may question why this is happening or feel as though you are at fault for this. In actuality, many reasons and factors can contribute to couples who struggle with sexual and intimate compatibility. Instead of trying to figure these out by yourselves, being willing to sit down with a counselor can make a difference and be significantly helpful.

When it comes to sexual and intimate patterns, it can be natural for you and your partner to have concerns or anxiety about discussing personal details with a stranger. However, it can be important to remember that your counselor is not generally there to judge you or poke fun at you. A counselor is normally a professional who specializes in helping people. It may be difficult to talk about issues of this nature in the beginning, but in the long run, it can pay off greatly. It's usually better to talk about these things now and get them out of the way than to keep struggling with them and have your relationship deteriorate as a result.

Important things to remember

As you prepare for couple counseling and take that big leap, there are some things that you should remember. First and foremost, success in couple counseling does not normally happen overnight. It usually takes time, hard work, and consistency from both partners. Sometimes you both may hear feedback from your counselor that doesn't necessarily please you, but that can be part of the process. The counselor is typically there to help you improve your relationship, not simply tell you what you want to hear.

Another thing to remember is that couples counseling is not necessarily a guarantee that your relationship will improve. Even the best counselor in the world can only do so much if you and your partner are unwilling to put in the work. Putting in the work isn't always easy; this can involve making certain lifestyle changes, changing the way you communicate, and otherwise bettering yourselves as individuals. Sometimes, people in relationships grow apart, and the best way to improve a partnership may be to end it. This may or may not be the case for you and your significant other. Many factors can determine the outcome of couples therapy, but it usually always begins and ends with your and your partner’s desire to grow closer and work things out.

You can attend couple counseling online

While visiting a couple counselor in person can be highly beneficial, it can also be less than convenient. This may be particularly true if you and your partner have children or busy schedules. Attending couple counseling sessions online can remove the stress of needing to find childcare and take time off work. Online therapy platforms often have a wide variety of session times available, many of which may occur outside of typical office hours. 

As this study explains, there is generally no difference between the efficacy of in-person couple counseling and online couple counseling. Either option can be an excellent way to get the professional help you deserve to improve your relationship and strengthen your bond with your partner.